Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 81426 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81426 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
My stomach twisted up. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m fine. Absolutely fine. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
I couldn’t help but smile. There was something about this kid that I just liked. I wanted him to be happy. “No reason. Just making sure.”
“Oh…okay. I was just… I mean, I wasn’t creeping around or anything, but I was bored and I thought maybe—but then, I’m sure you’re busy and all, so I—”
“I’m not busy. I’d love to hang out with you.”
His eyes practically glowed. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” I unlocked the door and let us inside. Theo swapped his sketchbook from his left hand to his right. I was curious about it but never sure if I should ask to see it. I didn’t know how personal it was. When I used to draw, I’d been a little protective of it.
The thought sort of hit me from nowhere. I used to draw and I’d loved it. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done it. Not since college, likely.
“Hungry? Thirsty?” I asked, pushing the other thoughts from my head.
“I’m always hungry, but I don’t have to eat if you’re not.”
I chuckled. “Nah, it’s cool. I could eat too.”
I began making grilled ham-and-cheese sandwiches for us. Theo sat at the table, watching me. Even when I wasn’t looking, I could feel his eyes on me.
“Where’s Construction Guy?”
I smiled. “I like that the name stuck. He’s at work.”
“Is he coming over later?”
“I’m not sure. We haven’t discussed it.” Putting my back to him, I grabbed some juice from the fridge. I figured sometimes it was easier to admit things when people weren’t looking at you. “Did you want him to come over for anything?” If Theo needed someone to talk to, I would make sure he had that.
“No. I mean, it’s cool if he does. I like him. He’s funny. I was just curious. I like talking to you too, so it’s like totally cool, or whatever.”
Looking at him, I winked. “Well, I am much cooler than Cam.”
Theo grinned, then glanced down, picking at the edges of his book.
I finished the food, set our plates and cups at the table, and sat across from him. We were almost finished eating before Theo broke the silence.
“So…is, um…is he your boyfriend or whatever?”
The twisting in my stomach increased, but not for the reason I would have thought. Not because I didn’t want to admit I was dating Camden, but because it wasn’t supposed to be real. I didn’t want to lie to Theo in a situation like this. It seemed…dirty. But then, what Cam and I were doing felt pretty damn real to me. There was a part of me that wanted it to be. How much more real could it get? “Yeah…he is. Are you comfortable with that?”
Theo’s big green eyes stretched wide, a deer-in-the-headlights look. “Oh God. Yes. Like super okay with it!” Then…then he blushed.
“Hey, there’s no reason to be embarrassed. I’m still getting used to it myself. He’s, um…the first guy I’ve ever dated.” I hoped like hell I was doing the right thing by talking with him about this stuff. I had no experience, and that made me wonder if Cam would be the better man to talk to, but then, if Theo was questioning, I definitely understood that piece of it.
“He is?”
“Yep.”
“How come? Were you, um…in the closet?”
I took a drink of my juice and tried to sort through my thoughts. None of it was easy to explain. There was no manual, no step-by-step guide. Everyone was different, which meant experiences were different too. “I wouldn’t say in the closet, really. Sexuality is complex, I’m learning. I considered myself straight most of my life. I only dated women and felt attracted to women.”
“Oh,” Theo said softly, maybe sadly.
“No, no. Wait. I think maybe if I truly thought about it, I’d likely see there were signs earlier than I let myself acknowledge. Maybe I’d notice something about a man, but I’d tell myself it was because my best friend Rush was gay, and I wanted…hell, maybe I wanted to be what he was, or prove I was okay with it. I’m not sure if that’s making sense or if it makes me sound like an asshole.”
“It doesn’t,” Theo replied. “You would be surprised at the things the brain is capable of doing. I’ve read up a lot about it. Plus, like you said, it’s all super nuanced.”
Damn…he hadn’t sounded like Theo there for a moment. He was a smart kid, not that I hadn’t known he was before, but he’d seemed very… “You’re mature for your age. That was very grown up.”
He smiled, blushed, shifted in his seat. “So you thought you were straight, but you didn’t care that your best friend was gay? Like didn’t care at all?”
“Nope. Not at all.” Was he afraid people would care? That his mom or others wouldn’t accept him? “So anyway…like I said about Rush. He was always the most important person in my world. Then he moved here, and I was still in Virginia. I was struggling a bit, couldn’t find my place in the world. I wasn’t happy, and I didn’t know why. But I knew I missed him and that he made things better, so I came to Fever Falls. And…he was seeing someone. He’d been talking about this guy for years, and I knew they were right for each other, but I was jealous.”