Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 40189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 201(@200wpm)___ 161(@250wpm)___ 134(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 40189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 201(@200wpm)___ 161(@250wpm)___ 134(@300wpm)
All I can do is ride it out and pray to God her sisters come through for her.
Chapter Twelve
Gemma
"Gemma."
The bed bounces as someone calls my name.
"Gemma."
"Jeez. This bed is huge. Do you think he special ordered it?"
"Probably. I don't think they sell beds for giants at the mattress store."
My eyes pop open as my sisters' voices register.
"Oh!" Charlie cries. "She's awake."
Four sets of eyes stare down at me.
"I'm naked," I whisper, the first words that pop into my head. They seem relevant.
Leia cracks a smile. Charlie cracks up. Adalynn and Heidi both giggle.
And I burst into tears.
All four of my sisters immediately pile onto the bed, trapping me under the covers as they fling themselves at me, talking over each other. I don't understand a word they say. But I understand one thing. They're here right now, hugging me like they're never going to let go.
"I t-thought you were g-going to h-h-hate me," I manage to say.
"Gemma," Adalynn whispers, wiping beneath my eyes. Hers are damp too. "We could never hate you."
"Never," Leia says vehemently.
"You're my best friend," Charlie cries.
"Hey, I thought I was your best friend." Heidi pokes her in the ribcage.
"You are my best friend." Charlie tells us all the same thing. And she means it every time she says it. It's one of the things I love most about her.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"We're sorry too," Leia says, laying her head against mine.
"We never meant to make you feel like you were stuck and couldn't grow up or change, Gemma. We never meant to make you feel like you had to be perfect." Heidi runs her fingers through my hair, gently unsnarling tangles.
"You don't owe us because of what we went through when we were little," Adalynn says. "You don't have to spend the rest of our life trying to repay us because we wanted our baby sister to be okay. We were old enough to feed ourselves. You weren't, Gemma. You don't have to carry that anymore."
"Neither do any of you," I whisper. "We aren't those little girls anymore. Those little girls survived. They grew up. And they'll never be back there again. It's okay to forget it."
"I've already forgotten a lot of it," Charlie says. "I remember bits and pieces, but that's it."
"I've forgotten stuff too." Heidi sighs. "Sometimes, I wish I could forget all of it."
"Me too," Leia admits.
"I want to forget our bio parents," Adalynn speaks softly. "I feel like they don't deserve a place in my memories. But I've never been able to forget them."
I slip my hand into hers, squeezing tightly. "They don't deserve a place in your memories. They don't deserve you or any of us. They never did."
"Yeah," she whispers.
We sit quietly for a moment before Heidi speaks up. "You were going to tell us about Bronx yesterday, weren't you?"
"I planned on it."
"I'm sorry I blew it," Leia says, guilt in her voice.
"You didn't."
"I did."
"I just…I need you guys to let me grow up a little bit, okay? And I need you to be okay with me not being perfect because I'm not. I'm so not." I bite my lip and then giggle. "I talk back and I get into trouble and break the rules and I say what I want to say and I do what I want to do and I don't care what the whole world thinks."
"With Bronx?"
"Yes, but I don't want it to be just with him. I want to be able to be myself all the time."
"So be yourself," Charlie says. "I've been getting into trouble my whole life, Gemma. No one loves me any less because of it. You're allowed to be whoever you are. That's the thing about family. We love you anyway."
"But what if…"
"What if what?"
"What if who I am likes things that the world says are wrong?"
"You mean BDSM things?" Leia asks point blank.
I nod, staring down at the blanket. I don't care what the world thinks about me. But these four? Their opinions matter. They'll always matter.
"So you like kinky sex," Charlie says. "Who cares?"
"You won't be embarrassed or ashamed if people find out that I go to the club?"
"I mean, your boyfriend works there. Obviously, people are going to assume you've been there." Charlie rolls her eyes. "Who cares what they think? They're just going to be jealous that Bronx does dirty stuff to you and not them. Because holy moly. That man is hot."
"I'm telling Xavier," Leia says.
"If you tell Xavier, then I'm telling Colter because you said the same thing earlier!"
"I'll buy you pie if you don't tell."
"Fine. I won't tell."
"Then neither will I."
Leia and Charlie shake on it, making me smile.
"As long as you're happy, I don't care what people think," Adalynn says. "Your sex life isn't their business. That's between you and Bronx."
"And us because I'm going to need details about this club," Heidi says.