Total pages in book: 362
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
I swallowed as nausea crept up my throat. Between my stomach and the dark energy seeping out of Ash and charging the air around me, I really needed to get to the point of why I’d brought this up before I vomited on myself and the table. “All I’m saying is that’s what caused the bruises. And even then, that was it.” But it really wasn’t. He had used compulsion, ensuring that I behaved and could only stand there while—
Nope.
Wasn’t going there.
Feeling Ash’s gaze on me, I forced my thoughts past that. “It didn’t happen when I tried to escape after he brought me back to Dalos. All he did was lecture me. And now, I think it was because my actions reminded him of Sotoria. The whole attempting-to-escape-him thing. How fucked up is that?”
“There are no words to capture how fucked up that is.”
He was so right. “When we were on the beach in Hygeia, I saw what he really looked like—his Primal form.” Tiny goose bumps formed as the dull gleam of Kolis’s bony face appeared in my mind. “I saw true Death.”
Ash had gone completely still, his expression devoid of any emotion. I counted. It took six seconds before he spoke again. “When we were talking before, you said he made you wear revealing clothing?”
“Yeah.”
Those enviable lashes swept down and then lifted. The eather streaking his irises brightened. “What else did he make you do?”
CHAPTER SIX
It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the chamber. My lips parted as my mind began racing, but the stench of stale lilacs returned, choking me and not allowing any words. What else? What else?
Nothing.
That was what I needed to say. Nothing else really happened.
But I could still feel the scrape of Kolis’s fangs against my throat. A shudder slithered its way down my spine, and I jerked my hand away. I took a deep breath and held it, utilizing the breathing techniques Holland had taught me. All I had to do was look around to see that I wasn’t being held captive. I wasn’t in a cage—a gilded cage that no longer even existed. I’d destroyed it. I’d taken Kolis out—if only momentarily. I’d freed Ash from his prison.
Breathe out.
That had been me and my strength—strength fueled by pure rage, terror, and agony.
I knew that, but it felt like a part of me was still locked away where all my rights and freedoms had been stripped away, taking my identity and voice with them. The desperation and helplessness I never wanted to feel again crept in, threatening to soak my skin like rancid water. The rot of those emotions pressed in on me, and in the deafening silence of the chamber, I felt I would drown in them if I wasn’t careful. I wanted to shed those feelings like a serpent discarded its skin, but they lingered like a bad omen.
I’m not there.
I didn’t even understand why I was so affected. I should be able to handle this better. Whether Ash or Kolis, becoming the Primal of Death’s weakness and ending him had been my duty since birth. I’d been trained to fight from the moment I could lift a sword. Groomed to seduce as soon as I became old enough to learn how flesh could become a weapon. I lived the entirety of my life knowing what was expected of me, yet I hadn’t been prepared for Kolis’s volatile mood shifts and twisted sense of honor. His cruelty and manipulation. His obsession. And even his moments of tainted kindness.
I hadn’t been prepared for when he threatened to give me to Kyn, the Primal of Peace and Vengeance, who was nearly as messed up as Kolis was.
What else did he make you do?
I hadn’t been ready to stand by as he turned a Chosen into something neither mortal nor god, but rather a being that hungered for blood. No amount of training had prepared me to pretend to not only be willing to spend time with him but also enjoy it. Breathe in. To see his fake, well-practiced smiles, and worse yet, the real ones whenever I made him happy or he spoke about Sotoria. Hold. Witnessing how he came alive then, finally showing he was capable of feeling something other than malice and self-persecution.
What else did he make you do?
To allow him to sleep beside me. Hold me. Remain still as he fed from me and found pleasure—
“Liessa,” Ash whispered.
The sound of his voice jerked my head back, snapping me out of my thoughts. My gaze flew to his. I had no idea how long I’d been sitting there. Definitely more than a handful of seconds. Had it been minutes? My heart was still pounding.
Reaching between us, Ash gently folded his hand around my wrist and pulled my fingers from my throat.