Total pages in book: 362
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Aios won’t say anything until I tell her it’s okay.”
The quiet came again, and his fingers made those soothing circles and lines across my belly. Our children, be they sons or not, would want for nothing. Even though the idea of parenting still freaked me out, I would do everything in my power to be a good one. And I would do everything to become deserving of this…blessing.
Because it still seemed unfair that I got to have this. Like fate had messed up somehow, rewarding instead of punishing me.
“Ash,” I said, my voice cracking under the weight of the emotions welling up inside me. “I’m so grateful for this, for us. For everything.”
“Me, too, liessa.” His head dipped, and he kissed me. “Me, too.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
“Nyktos said you wanted to see me,” Aios said as she crossed the fourth-floor antechamber, the hem of her sky-blue gown whispering over the stone floors.
She sat beside me on the couch while I sipped the juice Ash had insisted I finish. “You’ve made your choice?” she asked.
My heart fluttered. “We’ve made our choice. We’re going to do…the parent thing.”
Aios was quiet for a heartbeat and then squealed, causing me to jump. “I knew it!” She made another noise that sort of reminded me of a kitten, and then threw her arms around me. “Sorry! I’m so happy to hear this.”
“I can tell.” I only managed to hold on to my cup by sheer luck. “How did you know?”
“Nyktos sent Rhain to summon Kye,” she explained, squeezing me until I was the one close to squeaking. “He told Rhain he wanted Kye to check you over to ensure you were healing, but…”
“But you knew better.”
“I did.” Sitting back, she clasped her hands and tucked them under her chin. “I would’ve supported you either way. Truly. But I am so excited and happy for you—for both of you. For all of us. Do you even know the last time a Primal had children?”
“When Nyktos was born?”
Aios laughed. “Of course, you know.” She drew back. “When will you tell everyone? Please say soon because not telling Bele will drive me mad.”
I laughed, setting my cup on the side table. “I’m not sure when, but with everything going on, we want to keep it quiet. Can you help with that?”
“Of course. I won’t say a word, even though it will drive me mad.” Her cheeks were flushed. “How did he take the news?”
“I think he almost passed out,” I shared.
Aios giggled. “Fates, what I would have given to see that.”
I grinned. “It was something else, but other than that, he was…he was perfect.” Recalling his reaction once he got over his shock had my smile growing. “He’s actually very excited.”
Her smile faltered a bit as her gaze swept over my features. “Are you not excited? Now that you’ve talked to Nyktos?”
“I am,” I was quick to say. “I’m also a little terrified.”
“Understandable,” she said, patting my knee. “Did you guys talk about how this does and doesn’t affect things?”
“We talked about feeding and stuff,” I told her. “That’s something we have to ask Kye, but we haven’t gotten to the part where I tell him that I won’t be backing down from anything yet.”
“How do you think he’ll respond?”
I laughed. “Not at all well.”
Aios nodded. “At least you’re expecting him to put up a fight.”
“I am. And I understand why he won’t likely agree with me fighting. I get it. But if something happened to him and I wasn’t there?” Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. “I can’t even think about it.” I blew out a breath. “Anyway, I know he will be an amazing father.”
“And I believe you will make an incredible mother,” she said, her voice unwavering.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “I don’t know.”
Her delicate brows furrowed. “I do.”
“I’m going to try. I want to because I…I love them already.” A nervous laugh left me as Aios’s features softened. My face warmed. “I do. And that makes me even more terrified,” I admitted, my fears rising then. I couldn’t put a lid on them. “I will do everything to be a good mother, even though I am possibly the worst and most undeserving person to have a child, let alone two of them.” I frowned. “I don’t even know how to swaddle one.” I looked at her. “Do you?”
“Yes.” Her lips twitched. “I can show you, but parenting is something you sort of learn along the way.”
That sounded chaotic and unpredictable, especially when I was involved in learning along the way.
I swallowed hard. “Yeah, but it’s more than that. I’m an anxious mess most days, and I can only imagine that will be, like, amplified, but…I guess being a nervous mess is normal when it comes to having children.”
“It is. I can swear to that,” she said. “I’ve known mothers on their sixth child still being incredibly anxious.”