Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73537 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73537 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Pressing the tip of the knife on the upper part of my inner thigh, I moved it slowly, wincing as the sharp sting grew worse.
“One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.”
The thick blood oozed out, and I stopped as my eyes watered. I set the knife down on the table and let out a small sob as I watched the red trickle run down my leg. When it ran under my leg onto the seat, I covered my mouth in horror at what I’d let myself do. Again.
One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.
It had been years since I’d done this. I had become a stronger person—or so I’d thought. The horror of my past I had shut away. Closed it off. Let it go. But now, here I was, opening the door. Shame, guilt, self-disgust all began to settle over me. It was as if old bullies had shown back up to taunt me. Some I knew all too well.
One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.
Knocking at my door broke into my inner turmoil, and I stared in that direction, but I didn’t get up. I wasn’t in the right state of mind to deal with people. They’d go away. More knocking, then Micah’s voice.
“Tink?”
Standing up, I started to go to him and paused, looking down as blood ran down to my knee. Turning, I rushed over to the sink to get a paper towel and wet it. I had to clean this up. I didn’t want Micah to see me like this. I didn’t want anyone to, but especially him. He’d know I was damaged.
He’d come to see me. That meant something. Right?
“Dolly!” he called louder and knocked again.
I had to hold the paper towel on the wound and apply pressure. I’d cut deeper than I’d intended. The sound of keys in the lock caused me to panic. The door opening and heavy footsteps had me moving faster. Taking the bloody paper towel, I turned and shoved it into the trash can.
“Dolly, where are you?” Micah sounded worried.
He would be horrified if he caught me like this. I had to clean up the blood on the floor, chair, and even table where the knife had been, but I didn’t have time. Keeping him out of here was the only option. Grabbing another paper towel, I held it to the cut as I made my way out of the kitchen, then squeezed my thighs together to hold it there when I reached the living room.
Micah came walking back out of my bedroom at about that time. His eyes locked on me, and relief softened his tense expression. “Tink,” he said with a sigh and made his way over to me. His eyes searching my face. “You’ve been crying.”
Crap. I’d forgotten about that. I’d been more worried about the blood.
I shook my head and wiped at my face. “I’m fine,” I assured him. “What’re you doin’ here?” I asked him.
He stopped in front of me. “I wanted to see you. I had to wait until Pep left.”
“Why?”
He hadn’t wanted to see me after we had sex.
He cupped my face in his hands and brushed his thumbs over my cheekbones. It was hard to remember why I shouldn’t be letting him do this when he looked at me with those blue eyes like I was special.
“I missed you.”
No. No, he was just saying that. I knew better. Pepper had been right all along. I was too naive. I shook my head.
“I’m not buying that, Micah Abe,” I told him and tried to step back, but I felt the paper towel I’d forgotten between my legs and stopped before it fell to the ground.
“I need to explain,” he said.
“No need. You can just go.”
Hearing him tell me any excuse was dangerous. I was likely to fall for it hook, line, and sinker. Simply because I wanted it to be true.
“Tink, you don’t mean that,” he murmured as he ran a finger over my bottom lip. “You missed me too. Didn’t you?”
Yes. I didn’t tell him that though. I stayed silent.
“I want you to trust me,” he whispered, staring down at my mouth.
He hadn’t exactly done much to earn my trust. Or anything at all really. Except the fact that he’d been gentle during sex. He made it good for me. I had known it wasn’t supposed to be good the first time—or even the first few times. I’d heard stories about it. Micah made sure it was special.
Then, he’d walked right out of the room, taking the bloodied sheets with him.
“You want me to trust you? I did. And then you left me alone to go tell…some blonde woman that I was boring and was bad at sex.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about? Blonde woman? Fucking Dylan? Did she come to my room?”