Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 69398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69398 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
I hang it up.
“I had to,” I say, my voice careful. “We have no money.”
“How dare you?”
She loses it. In a fit of rage, she starts smashing everything in her way as she charges toward me. I use the sofa as a shield from her, but she’s so angry, losing it so bad, I’m terrified.
“Mom, I had no choice. He has money and we need money. He said he’s been giving you money and ...”
“He’s a liar!” she screeches, grabbing fistfuls of her hair and tugging at it. “He’s a liar and so are you. You fucking waste of space, useless son. How could you do that to me? Go to him when you know what he has done to me?”
Her words are like a knife to my heart.
“I had no choice,” I yell back, anger building in my chest, an anger I can’t contain.
“You fucking awful child.”
She lunges at me, grabbing my hair with her hand in a fistful. My scalp burns as she tugs at it, jerking over and over, as if trying to get it to free from my scalp. I bellow in pain, grabbing her arms and trying to get her off me, but she’s high as a kite and strong, so fucking strong. She’s clawing and scratching, calling me every name under the son.
I’m terrified.
“Mom,” I bellow. “Let me go.”
“I hate you,” she screeches. “You little fucking asshole. I fucking hate you. I wish you were never born. You’re just like him. I wish you were dead.”
Her fingernails literally sink into my skin, causing me to roar with pain as blood trickles from my arm. She’s biting at me, one hand still in my hair, tugging so hard it burns. I need to get her off. The rage inside me unleashes, and I shove her—I shove her so hard to get her to release me that she flies backward.
“Let me go,” I roar as I watch her body part from mine and she soars across the air like a ragdoll.
As if in slow motion, I watch her fly toward the table. I know, even before it happens, that she’s going to hit it. Her head slams down onto the corner, a loud crunch echoing through the room, a sound I’ll never forget. Then, she hits the ground, lifeless.
I know.
I know even before I walk over and kneel beside her.
I just killed my mother.
The wound on her temple is deep and gushes with blood. Her eyes are open, her mouth stuck mid scream. I turn and vomit all over the ground as the kind of pain and anguish I’ve never felt before in my life, takes over my body. I can’t breathe, I can’t move. I just vomit until there is nothing left.
I just killed my own mother.
I killed her.
She’s dead.
My life is over.
What have I done?
Oh, god, what have I done?
What have I fucking done?
HER BODY IS HEAVY AS I drag it through the night toward the small boat Carson owns.
I am a monster of the purest form, but the truth is that if I go to the police, I’m going to prison for the rest of my life. Isla will be left alone, the baby she carries will be left alone, and I’ll be forever the same type of scum she was. The only way for me to get on with my life, is to get rid of her.
The worst part is, nobody will even notice.
Nobody cares about her.
I could simply say she disappeared with a junkie friend of hers and people wouldn’t think twice.
It’s time for me to do what’s right.
Well, it’s very fucking wrong but I have no other choice. For me, this is the only way out. The only way I can keep my life going untouched. Freedom feels close, but the weight of my mother feels so fucking heavy. Dragging her lifeless form is without a doubt the hardest part of what I’m doing right now. Knowing that it’s because of me that she’s dead ... That’s a hard pill to swallow.
I sat beside her dead body for hours, hours, and hours. Isla came, she knocked, she called out, and she left. My father called again, over and over. Those calls went untouched. I just sat there, staring at her body, wondering what the hell I was going to do next. I didn’t cry, hell, I haven’t. Not once. Her words to me before she died ring over and over in my head. The way she was clawing and scratching at me.
I think I’m meant to feel something, but I don’t.
Not a single fucking thing.
I reach Carson’s boat, and I find the spare key he always keeps hidden. He tells us we can use this boat whenever we need. It’s not huge, it’s just a little run around, but it’ll get me far enough out on calm waters to dump her into the ocean where she’ll never surface again. At least, I hope she never will. I’ve learned a few tricks in my time, a few things to make sure she doesn’t.