Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
I want to take care of her for—
Oh my God.
The words. I did say them out loud.
Perhaps she didn’t hear me. She’s made no indication of it.
What if Frankie and Penn are wrong? What if she doesn’t feel the same way?
What if she doesn’t want to lose our friendship? I don’t want to lose it, either. It’s been the one constant in my life for nearly all my twenty-nine years. I don’t know what I would do without it.
What if I can’t commit to her? I feel like I want to, but what if it’s not possible for me? If it were possible, surely I’d have been able to do it before now.
I lean down and kiss the side of her neck. She shudders beneath me.
“Are you okay?” I ask. “It’s tough on your body to be bound in a certain position for so long. I want to make sure I’m taking care of you.”
“I’m fine, Jack.”
“You sure?”
“I’m so very sure. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as fine as I do right now.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Do you know what would make me feel even better?”
“What’s that?”
“If you would take off your shirt and lie next to me. Just hold me.”
Holding my partner isn’t something I do after a scene. I take care of her, yes. But holding—snuggling—that constitutes an emotional bond, something I’ve never wanted.
The truth is, though, I am emotionally involved with Mandy. I love her. I always have.
As much as I ache to give her what she desires, I can’t. Not until I know where this is heading. I absolutely cannot give up my friendship with her, and if we’re not on the same page—if she can’t accept that I may not be able to commit to her long-term—I can’t allow it to continue. I would rather go back to being friends.
Best friends.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I can’t.”
“But you just said—” She stops abruptly.
God. I’m right. I said it out loud.
“We need to talk,” I tell her.
“Do we?”
“Do we what?”
“Do we need to talk, sir?”
The snide tone of sir isn’t lost on me.
This is my own fault. I left the scene before she did by saying the words, by unbuckling her. I brought her to the bed and took care of her without explaining what I was doing.
I left the scene. But so did she. She addressed me as Jack instead of sir.
And now I’m getting all Dominant on her again.
“I can’t do this,” I say.
“Can’t do what exactly?” She pauses a moment. Then, “Sir.”
Okay, I had that coming.
She continues, “Why not talk here? It’s us, Jack. Mandy and Jack. We’ve always been able to talk.”
“I know that. That’s what makes it all wrong. This isn’t a place where I talk, Mandy. This is where I…”
She drops her gaze. “Oh. I see, sir.”
“You can drop the sir now.”
“No, sir. I cannot possibly, sir. Here, in this place, you are the brave Dominant and I am but your meek submissive, sir. I would never ask you to do anything like talk to the likes of me, sir.”
She rises, and I can’t help but stare at her delectable red ass as she walks toward her clothes. Her panties are of course shredded, but she wiggles into her jeans and pumps and picks up the corset.
“You can’t leave the suite without me,” I say.
“I wouldn’t dream of it, sir.”
She’s trying to piss me off, and she’s succeeding. Except I understand. She heard me say those words, and she thought I meant them.
I did mean them.
But I have to be sure.
Can I truly give up my best friend? Because if I’m not capable of a committed relationship—if this somehow ends—I lose so much more than a lover.
I lose so much more than a submissive.
She tightens the strings of her corset and then whips her hands to her hips and meets my gaze. “I’m ready, sir.”
“Fine.” I shuffle into my clothing as quickly as possible. I do want to talk to her, but I don’t want to do it here.
The velvet choker around her neck is all wrong. It’s one of the standard issue here at the club that Dominants use to keep their guests protected.
I don’t speak to Mandy again as I lead her out of the suite, down the hallway, and through the main area of the club past Claude and out the doorway.
I don’t speak as I adjust the blindfold on her face and take her back up through the bar. I don’t speak as I remove the blindfold, walk her through the bar, and then outside to hail a cab.
I still don’t speak during the cab ride, and finally, when we reach her building, “I’ll walk you up.”
“Don’t bother,” she says.
“Mandy, I’ve always walked you up, and I’m not going to stop now.”
“Fine, sir.” She gets out of the cab without waiting for me or the cabbie to help her out.