Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
“Exercise, as a rule, isn’t for weight loss. It’s for body strengthening. If you want to lose weight, you’ll have to cut calories.” He eyes me. “Frankly, I don’t think you need to lose weight. Your body looks great. A little toning and firming, and you’ll be ready for that wedding.”
Did I tell him about the wedding? I don’t remember. Frankie probably talked about it last night.
“And yes, you need cardio. Exercising the heart is the best way to keep it in shape and make sure you live a long and full life.”
I sigh. “If you say so.”
“We all hate cardio. I do mine first, because if I do my strength training first, I know I’ll be tired and I won’t bother to do my cardio.”
“You mean personal trainers aren’t all in love with cardio?”
“God, no. We’re trainers, not professional athletes.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
Indeed, Michael has an amazing body. Today he’s wearing shorts and a tank top, so I’m getting a good look at his muscles. His calves look like he swallowed a couple of softballs.
Still…as attractive as I find him, I’m not feeling even a pinch of arousal.
Is he?
It’s hard to tell. Maybe Jackson’s right. Maybe I am innocent. I sure can’t read this guy.
“I’m going to put you back on the elliptical—”
“No,” I say adamantly. “No more elliptical. I took your test, but if you’re going to insist that I do cardio, I need a treadmill or bike. I really hate the elliptical.”
“I have to tell you that the elliptical is the most—”
“Yes, I know. I’ve heard it all before. I hate it. Stationary bike, treadmills, those I can handle.”
“Okay.” He chuckles and makes some notes on his phone. “Your choice, then. Which one?”
“Let’s try the bike.”
“Good enough.” He leads me over to the line of stationary bikes, chooses an unoccupied one, and makes some settings on the computer. “Go ahead. I’ve got you set for half an hour. It’s a pretty easy setting, but your heart rate should go up nicely.”
“All right.” I hop on the bike and start pedaling.
And then I really remember how much I hate working out at the gym and how boring stationary bikes are.
Which leads my thoughts—of course—back to Jackson. What is he doing this afternoon?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jackson
Back at my place, I think again about what happened with Blossom. I’ve never lost it like that before, and I’m not sure I can go back to the club until I figure out what’s going on in my own head.
Playing squash with Ben this morning didn’t help.
Running into Mandy and her sister at the juice bar really didn’t help.
What’s going on with me?
I went to Mandy’s last night because she has always been my safe space. But can she truly be my safe space when I’ve kept such a significant part of my life from her? She knows now. Hell, I took her to Black Rose. I’m the one who thought I could scare her off random hookups forever, and she’d never know it was me.
Instead? She recognized me immediately, and she embraced it.
Embraced this part of me.
But we didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything dark to her. I only thought about it. And damn, it was good. That simple sex with Mandy—it was good.
I haven’t been able to admit it to myself until now, but it was good.
Is it possible it wasn’t a mistake?
Could Mandy…
“No,” I say out loud. I can’t bring Mandy into my scene. She won’t understand, and she’ll ask a lot of questions.
Questions aren’t a bad thing. I had a lot of questions myself, and I found some of the answers at Black Rose. I’m still searching for the rest of the answers. It’s about the journey, after all.
Could Black Rose be part of Mandy’s journey? Could I be?
Maybe I’m…
In love with her. You’re in love with her, Jackson.
I ignore the words of my inner voice.
I’m not in love with Mandy. I can’t be.
Why not?
Because we don’t fit together that way.
Don’t you?
And then I hurl backward in time, remembering…
…
I’m ready to leave for college, and I’m going far away—so far away that I won’t be coming home until Thanksgiving. My D-II football scholarship awaits me, and I’m psyched.
I’m ready to leave.
Except…
Mandy and I already said our goodbyes last night. She choked up, and I pretended like I didn’t.
But I want to see her one more time, so I hop into my car and drive to her home. She won’t leave for college for another couple of months, not until the end of August. I have to go now because football practice starts next week.
I knock on the door.
Her parents are both at work, so I know she’s home alone with Frankie.
Frankie answers the door. “Hey, Jack.”
“Hey, Frankie. Where’s Mandy?”
“She’s in her room.”
“Could you tell her I’m here?”
“Go on up.” Frankie opens the door.