Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 86510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
“A tumor?” I gulp.
He’s alive. Everything was supposed to be okay as long as he lived.
Everything is not okay.
“Yes. We have to send it to pathology, but at first glance, it looks like it is probably cancerous.”
I gulp. No. No, no, no.
“But this is good news, Ms. Sandusky.”
Her words hover around me, echoing. Good news. Good news? Cancer?
“Good news? How is cancer good news?”
“We were able to excise the entire tumor. If it is cancer, and we got clean edges, that gunshot wound to the abdomen just saved Mr. O’Connor’s life.”
“What?”
My mind goes blank.
“Pancreatic cancer is almost impossible to diagnose until it’s in its advanced stages. Almost no one survives. But this tumor is small. Mr. O’Connor wouldn’t have begun to show symptoms until two or more years down the road. And then it would’ve been too late. Now, he can be monitored. Yearly CAT scans of his pancreas to make sure the tumor doesn’t return. And if it does, we’ll get it early. He’s going to live, Ms. Sandusky. Your boyfriend is going to live.”
I stand there, my mouth dropped open.
I know I must look like a halfwit, but how do I process this?
How do I process that those horrible armed robbers, who permanently scarred those two children and the rest of us, may have saved the life of the man I love?
Yvette’s words ring in my mind.
I see something when he looks at you. I see something I’ve never seen in him before. I believe you’re the one. You were placed in his path and he in yours.
“He’s in the ICU right now, and I can’t allow you to see him until after the anesthesia has worn off. That will be a couple hours. But he’s okay, Ms. Sandusky. Go home. Take a shower and change your clothes. He’ll still be here when you get back.”
“He will?”
“I can’t make any guarantees, but he’s strong. He’s had a blood transfusion. His vitals are looking good. He’s a survivor. It’s a miracle that we found the tumor.”
I’m still trying to process her words.
“You can’t see him for a while anyway. So go take care of yourself.”
“His grandmother’s on her way. His parents are out of the country. They won’t be here until tomorrow.”
“Good.”
I’m babbling. I know I’m babbling. I’m still trying to process everything this nice doctor has told me.
“Please. Go home and take care of yourself. He’s going to need your strength when he wakes up.”
I can’t take the subway. I had to throw away my white cardigan. And there’s still blood on my arms and my corset.
I grab a cab, go home, throw the corset in the trash, and take a deep breath.
Then I figure it’s time to call my boss and tell her why I’m not there.
Once I deal with that, I turn on my shower. I let the warm water pelt me, washing the last of Ronan’s blood down the drain.
And then I sob.
I fucking sob, giant racking loud sobs.
Until I slide down the wall into a sitting position, and I sob some more.
All the sobs I couldn’t get out while I was waiting. Scared, scared my life was ending.
And then even more scared when I feared Ronan’s life was ending.
It’s too late now, but the sobs are coming.
God, I’m going to need some serious therapy after this. The water becomes lukewarm, and then borders on cold. I turn it off.
I leave the shower, dry off, put on clean clothes. Comfortable clothes. Leggings and an oversize tee. I dry my hair quickly, put it in a ponytail at the back of my neck.
I glance at my makeup.
And I don’t care. I apply some lip balm to my parched lips. The rest?
Take me as I fucking am.
Because none of it matters anymore.
I could’ve lost my life today.
Ronan nearly did lose his.
And I’m done.
I’m done settling for scenes at the club.
I’m done settling for scenes at my place.
I want more.
I want a relationship. Children. I want to finish college. Maybe open my own shop.
I want…a future.
A future with Ronan, but if he doesn’t want that? I’ll survive.
One thing I found today.
I’m a survivor.
And so is he.
I’m going to do everything I can to be with the man I love. But if he doesn’t return my feelings, I will survive.
I will fucking survive.
Back at the hospital, I check on Ronan.
He’s come out of the anesthesia, but he’s still asleep.
They allow me to go into the ICU and see him for a moment.
I kiss his cheek. “Thank God you’re going to be okay, Ronan.”
The machines beep. I watch his heartbeat on the screen. His pulse-ox is ninety-two, which the nurse told me is absolutely fine for having just had surgery.
“You’re going to have to leave now, Ms. Sandusky.”
“All right.” I nod, walk back out to the waiting area.
And Yvette is here. Despite her short stature, she appears like a giantess to me. I take in her strength. God, how I need it.