Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 86510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
She rises onto her knees and touches my face. “If I’m so important, why don’t you want me?”
I gently remove her hand. “I know what you want, and I can’t give it to you. You deserve to be with someone who can.”
“I don’t want anyone else, sir.”
“Yes,” I say, again as gently as I can. “I understand that, but I do.”
I don’t realize the truth of my words until I say them. I know next to nothing about Mary. I don’t even know her last name. But already, I feel something brewing inside me. Something foreign and far from unpleasant.
Mary’s already a submissive, but something has her rattled. And for some reason I want to be the one to help her.
“I hope you brought something to sleep in,” I say. “If not, grab one of the bathrobes from the bathroom. You’re not going to sleep naked in my suite.”
I close the bedroom door. All of my stuff is in the en suite bathroom. I strip off my shirt, kilt, and hose, gently folding the kilt to keep the pleats in place. My suitcase is also in the bedroom, and it contains my underwear and my pajamas. I don’t wear anything under a kilt, so I’m naked.
Great.
I pull out the bed, make it up with the sheets and blankets provided, and slip between them.
Damn.
I have a naked woman in the next room—a woman who would let me do whatever I want to her right now.
And all I can think of is Mary. Sweet Mary who introduced me to New York pizza. Who showed me the spectacular skyline of Manhattan from her favorite viewing spot.
Sweet Mary, who’s a little bit broken, but who trusted me enough to spend the evening with me.
She gave of herself when she didn’t have to.
And I want to give something back to her.
Chapter Eight
Mary
I only make it about ten minutes on the elliptical the next morning at the gym before I tell Brenda I’m heading down to the small dinette on the first floor to have a smoothie. By the time I have my smoothie ordered—today’s special is raspberry pineapple—Brenda has joined me to order her own.
“You’re quiet today, Mare,” she says.
“Am I?”
“Spill it. You haven’t said more than three words about the Scottish hunk.”
“We went to Gianni’s for a slice,” I say. “And then we viewed the city from the Top of the Rock. Other than that, there’s nothing to tell.”
“Do you trust him?”
“He seems trustworthy enough.”
“Yes, he does. And the club vets everyone who applies for membership. You’re going to be perfectly safe with him.”
I sip my smoothie. “Yes, I know that.”
“So…do you think it’s time to get back on the horse?”
“You’re beginning to sound like a broken record, Brenda.”
“Yeah, I can hear myself. But the club has been such a huge part of your life the last several years. I can’t believe you’d give it up.”
“I never thought I would before, either.” I set down my smoothie and rub the back of my neck. “I’m not even sure it was the scene. It’s not like Jack hurt me that much. I healed up right away. There’s no scarring.”
“Right. And Jack honored your safe word as soon as you said it.”
I slowly draw in a deep breath. “It’s just that his head was somewhere else, you know? And I think that’s what bothers me the most. How do you know when a Dominant has his head in the game? How many times have I been with someone who’s thinking about something else while we’re doing a scene?”
“Does it matter?”
I meet Brenda’s gaze. “I never thought it did before. But now I wonder… What is it that I really want? I’m beginning to think maybe I want what you and Dalton have.”
“Dalton and I weren’t looking for it. It found us.”
I take a sip of my raspberry-pineapple smoothie. The tanginess of the Greek yogurt punches through the sweetness of the strawberry and pineapple, giving the smoothie a full-bodied yet fruity flavor. It’s delicious. “I know. That’s what makes it so special, Brenda. You found something you weren’t looking for, and now your lives are all the more complete for it. I always thought my life was complete just being a submissive. Meeting Dominants at the club, playing together, and then going about my day-to-day life. I was happy without a man in my life. Without a partner. I like living alone, and I like being responsible for my own needs. Except in the bedroom, when I give up the responsibility for my needs to someone else.”
“A relationship doesn’t mean giving up responsibility for your own needs,” Brenda says. “It means sharing responsibility for each other’s needs. It means thinking about someone else as well as yourself.”
“I know.” I sigh. “That’s always turned me off about it, to be honest. I suppose it sounds selfish, but I never wanted to bother worrying about anyone else. Not in my day-to-day life. It’s difficult enough making a living, making ends meet in Manhattan. Yet I love living here, and I don’t want to leave. It’s my home.”