Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 96404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 482(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 482(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
“I was tired, too, Naomi. I was hurt and bitter and a general asshole to everyone because the girl I thought was mine left me over a fucking text. You cut me open that day and I never managed to sew myself together again. You at least knew why you left, I didn’t. All this time, I thought you blamed me, I thought I was a motherfucking loser for not being able to protect you back then.”
“No, Sebastian, no…don’t think that way.”
“But I did, Naomi. For seven fucking years, that’s all I could think about. And then, you waltz back in on another man’s arm.”
“I just told you…”
“I know. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t shatter the pieces I’ve been trying to pick off the floor for years. The rusty knife you left inside me cut me deeper and harsher to the point where I thought I wouldn’t survive it this time.”
“I’m sorry…hurting is the last thing I wanted…”
“I’m sorry, too, baby.” His voice is low, pained. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that on your own. I wish I’d been there.”
His words make me sob harder and I snuggle into his embrace, sniffling and ugly crying.
Because maybe those are the words that I wanted to hear from Sebastian. That he wished he’d been there.
That he really wanted to be there for me and help me carry the burden.
I don’t know how long I stay like that, but Sebastian holds me the entire time, stroking my hair, my back, and being the rock I’ve needed all along.
“The only time I’ve been able to breathe was when I got back, when I saw you at that party the first time, even though you hated me.”
“Oh, baby, I never hated you. I hated what you did. I hated that you broke up with me over a text message and a phone call. I hated the person I became without you—grouchy, cold, and hollow. I hated a lot of things, including your fucking husband, whom I fantasized about killing a thousand times, but I never managed to hate you. Not for one second. Not for a single fucking breath.”
Oh, God.
It’s like I’m levitating out of my own body and finally living in that alternate reality I’ve been wishing for.
“Sebastian…” I stare up at him, his name caught between awe and pain.
“What is it?”
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend my heart and soul aren’t with you.”
“You won’t have to, baby. I promise.”
I don’t know how long I cry.
But it’s long enough that my eyes feel swollen and my breaths start hitching.
It goes on for what seems like hours, yet Sebastian doesn’t release me for even one second.
When I’m spent, he drives us out of the forest, but something tells me it’s not going to be our last time here.
This place was our beginning and has some of my best memories, and there’s nothing that will erase that.
I tell him to go to my house.
Or rather, Mom’s.
We step inside and I deactivate the alarm. The place is still the same as it was seven years ago. Nothing’s changed, not even the alarm code. I’ve been having a maid clean it up monthly, but this is the first time I’ve stepped foot in here since I left Blackwood.
I stand in the middle of the living room and hug myself as memories of Mom hit me out of nowhere.
I can imagine her standing in front of a mannequin and being a perfectionist.
The smell of her cigarette is at the tip of my nose, even though the place is spotlessly clean.
Images of the two of us eating and watching TV together assault me, and fresh tears spring to my eyes.
I’m such an emotional mess today.
Strong arms wrap around me from behind and I release a cracked breath.
“I didn’t know you kept it,” he whispers.
“I thought about selling it, but I just couldn’t. This is the last thing I have of Mom. The fashion house doesn’t count, that’s just work. This place is…full of memories of her and…us.”
“And your true crime shows,” he teases.
I laugh despite the tears. “And those, too. Though I haven’t watched one for seven years.”
He turns me around to face him. “Why not?”
“They brought the memories back and turned me into an emotional mess.”
“Let’s go get you a shower and then we’ll watch one.”
“We will?”
“The fucking things grew on me.”
“I told you they would.”
“I only like them because they remind me of you.”
My cheeks burn and I look away. “Do all the women fall for that?”
“Most of them do, Tsundere.”
I bite my lip to reign in the burning pit of jealousy hollowing the bottom of my stomach. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way when I’m married, and I didn’t think he’d be celibate for seven years when I’m the one who broke his heart.