Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 96404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 482(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96404 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 482(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
“It’s not. Why did you smile after?”
“I had an angsty teenage moment where I thought, ‘Hey, maybe the world would be better off without me.’ Then I looked up and asked for a sign to show me that I’m important somehow and that my existence matters. It could have been anything as long as I could feel it. That’s when the leaf fell on my nose, and for some reason, that made me so giddy inside. Boring, I know. I’ve ruined your image of that memory.”
Sebastian grabs my arm and tugs me down so that my head lies on his muscled thigh. A muffled wince leaves him and even through the darkness, I can imagine the frown etched deep between his brows.
His lean fingers comb through my hair, stroking gently. It takes everything in me not to moan, and instead, I try to get up so I don’t hurt him.
Sebastian locks a steel-like arm over my upper chest, forbidding me from moving. “You didn’t ruin anything. You just amplified it, and do you know what that means? You’re stuck with me, baby.”
The need to cry hits me again, but I sniffle so I don’t turn into a crybaby. I have a reputation to keep, dammit. “I still haven’t forgiven you.”
“Even when I’m dying?”
“You’re not dying!” My voice chokes. “We’ll get out of here.”
“I’m kidding. I was only trying to play on your sympathy.”
“Don’t do that again.” My fingers dig into his pants and I struggle to push the image of him dying out of my head.
That thought chokes me.
It steals my breath and leaves me with muddied, chaotic thoughts.
“I’m just playing with you, Tsundere.” His voice lowers and it’s almost soothing, despite the tinge of pain in it. “I wouldn’t leave you alone after I waited three years.”
“You…waited?”
“I think I have.”
“What were you waiting for?”
“I don’t know. Maybe an opportunity.”
I scoff. “You could’ve made your own opportunity without waiting for Reina’s bet.”
“That’s the problem. I didn’t know I needed to make a move until that fucker Josh almost took you away. Being threatened made me take action.”
“Josh wouldn’t have stood a chance. Arrogant football players aren’t my type.”
“Except for me?”
“I never said that.”
“You don’t have to, Tsundere. I watched you long enough to recognize your hot and cold attitude.”
I bite my lower lip and inhale deeply, taking in his scent mixed with blood and something else. “I can’t believe you watched me for three years and I didn’t notice anything.”
“I’m pretty good. Besides, you tend to be blind to your surroundings, especially when you have those headphones on.”
“Not to you,” I murmur. “You see, I watched you, too.”
“You did?”
I nod against his thigh. “Since the first day I got to school. You probably don’t remember it, but I do. Clearly.”
He’s quiet for a beat, and I can only hear the guttural sounds of his breathing in the dark silence. It’s haunting and chopped off, a clear indication that he needs help and no matter how much we fool ourselves into believing we’ll be okay, we probably won’t.
I suck in a sharp breath and choose to remain in the here and now, even if it’s only temporary.
The now is all we have.
“It was during my first day at Blackwood High. Once again, I was mad at how Mom kept relocating us from one city to another. Not that I loved San Francisco, but it felt like home for so long. And out of the blue, Mom told me she’d bought a house in some town filled with rich people. We’d lived in small towns before and I’d hated them all. People in those places were mostly racist, narrow-minded assholes, and yet, Mom didn’t seem to care.
“I didn’t believe her when she said this time would be different. She kept singing different tunes about the wealth of the town or how the crime rate in Blackwood was close to zero or that its residents were the kindest. But she forgot the tiny detail about how I’d be a transfer student in the middle of my senior year and they’re always doomed for rejection.
“I missed the tour the principal specifically booked for Mom and me, because we arrived at the last second into town. In addition to being a new face in the middle of the year, I was completely clueless about how to get to Blackwood High, and to make matters worse, it was raining. The GPS got me to the top of a hill, then got so funky that I couldn’t tell whether the school was located to the left or the right. So I stopped the car on the side of the road near a football field and got out, assuming it was the school’s field. But I couldn’t find anyone to direct me to the stupid school. I thought my first day was doomed for failure from the get-go.