Total pages in book: 40
Estimated words: 37636 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 188(@200wpm)___ 151(@250wpm)___ 125(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 37636 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 188(@200wpm)___ 151(@250wpm)___ 125(@300wpm)
"I'm in love with you."
They hurt a thousand times more than she could ever imagine, and they hurt a thousand times more when she saw what she had already expected in Ethan's bleak gaze.
He knew she was in love with him.
But it didn't change a thing.
Ethan's fists clenched when he saw the tears that slowly trailed down Anah's face. "I'm sorry." He was beginning to hate those words, but what he hated even more was the fact that there was nothing else he could say or do.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything." It was the least, the very fucking least he owed her.
"Why do you love her so much?"
Ethan didn't have to think about this. "Because she loves me just as much...maybe even more." He saw the shock in Anah's dark, doll-like eyes, and his lips twisted in sardonic acknowledgment. "I know her actions say otherwise." And that was the fucking understatement of the century, considering how Guilia sometimes seemed almost maniacally determined to flaunt her affairs in his face. "But when we're alone...she's different."
If that were so, didn't that mean Guilia had some kind of mental disorder?
Anah felt horribly ashamed and sick with guilt as soon as the thought popped into her mind. However she felt about the other woman, the truth was something only Ethan and Guilia knew, and if that was how Ethan felt...
"I still don't have a chance, do I?"
"Any other man would be damn lucky to have someone like you..."
"In other words, no."
A smile trembled at her lips as she spoke, and Ethan's chest tightened at the way Anah could still show a flash of humor despite the situation. Maybe if he had met her earlier...but he hadn't. And she was such a goddamn foolish idiot...
In the end, he could no longer help himself.
"You knew almost from the very start," he said flatly, "I was with Guilia."
Anah nodded.
"So why the hell would you still let yourself fall for me?" he asked tautly. "You should've gone for one of the twins instead—-" An image flashed in his mind, taunting him of how it would feel if Anah did fall for one of the twins, but Ethan forced himself to ignore this despite the curiously sharp sensation that squeezed his heart. "Anyone else would've been better—-"
"I don't know, okay?"
That he actually sounded angry...that he seemed angry because she had fallen in love with him hurt, and it caused her words to tumble out in a shaken, high-pitched cry. It wasn't a shout in any way, but because she had never raised her voice to him, it was enough to have Ethan whiten.
"Anah—-"
"Do you think I don't know how stupid it was either?" she demanded painfully. "I really wish I knew why I feel what I feel. If I did, then I think I could convince myself to look for someone else. But I don't. It wasn't something I planned. It just happened."
And he knew it was the truth because it had been the same for him, too. He had been with Guilia for just one night, and love had simply happened.
Anah was torn between confusion and laughter when Ethan suddenly started heaping food on her plate. "Um..."
"I have a feeling we'll be at this for hours," Ethan said without looking at her. "We might as well stuff ourselves while we hash things out." He heard her laugh, and this time the sound made his heart ache.
"I was kinda feeling hungry myself," Anah admitted, "but I was worried you'd think I wasn't being serious if I reached for one of Cook's biscuits." It was Ethan's turn to laugh, and just like before, the sound made her heart race and crack all at the same time.
When he was done heaping food on his own plate, he turned to look at her again, and asked simply, "Truce for now?"
She nodded.
Wicked humor suddenly flashed in his hazel eyes, and Anah felt wary for some reason.
"Can I ask you a question, though?"
She nodded again.
"If you were made to choose between me and Cook Nancy's biscuits," Ethan said gravely, "which one would you rather have in your life?"
"It depends," Anah quipped.
"On?"
"Are you willing to learn how to bake them?"
Ethan grimaced, and Anah laughed even as her heart continued to race and crack. Ethan was flirting with her, and she was, well, she was flirting right back at him. It had never happened before, and the only reason it was happening now was because after this...
Ethan nodded when Anah volunteered to say grace but kept his gaze on her as he saw her eyes close.
"Bless us O Lord..."
He found himself unable to stop staring even as his world started spinning out of its orbit again.
"And these, Thy gifts..."
He heard her voice start to wobble, and the sound carved a hole out of his chest. She was so damn young. So damn beautiful, inside and out, that she would be just fucking wasted...so completely wasted on someone like him.