Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 130255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
She sat back and tilted her head to the side, while I said nothing.
“Now,” she continued. “I won’t tell you what to do with Ellie. Whatever choice you make will be discussed in our next session, I’m sure, and we’ll go over why you made the choice you did and what led you to make it. But for now, I think it’s best we end here so you can think about what I’ve said and come to terms with it.”
I bobbed my head slowly in agreement.
“If you need me, you know where I am.” She paused. “Max, I do hope you make the decision that’s right for you. For both of you.”
“So do I, Dr Collins,” I replied. “So do I.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
ELLIE
Forever Seems So Far Away
I did it.
I stared at the last sentence I’d written, hit the ‘Enter’ key three times, upped the font size, and typed those all-important words.
The End.
It wasn’t, of course. I still had to read through the book to pick up any continuity issues and make my own edits, but it was over.
I had a book.
I’d written another book.
The hardest part was done.
My reason for being here at Greygarth Lodge, my reason for coming to Windermere in the first place, was no more.
There was nothing else keeping me here.
I wouldn’t leave immediately, of course. My parents wouldn’t be home for a few more days and I’d already texted my mum to tell her I was away for work and would be back as soon as I could. She’d understood—apparently, they were coming for a month, so she didn’t mind if I wasn’t home before they landed.
It bought me… basically no time at all.
No matter what she said, I knew she’d be upset if I wasn’t there. Heck, I’d be upset. I hadn’t seen my parents in eight months, and I missed them dearly. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with them while they were here.
But going home meant leaving this little slice of heaven I’d fallen head over heels for.
And the man who owned it all.
My heroine had overcome everything thrown her way in her story, but I didn’t dare to dream that my own story would end the same way.
Forever was a big thing to ask of someone who struggled to live in the moment.
If I knew anything, it was that Max carried a deep-rooted, consuming pain, and I wasn’t sure he was able or ready to move on from it. I didn’t blame him for a second. What happened to his parents was horrible and tragic. It was utterly heart-breaking, but I needed to think of myself.
Being selfish was a difficult thing. Putting yourself above other people was painfully tough, especially when you loved those people more than anything.
For me, Max was that person.
I was absolutely in love with Max. I’d never felt quite as special or treasured as I did when he was with me, when his fingers trailed across my skin and his lips brushed my temple, when his exhale flittered through my hair and the tiniest whisper of his voice made my heart beat like crazy.
But it didn’t matter.
He wasn’t for me.
I knew that. I’d always known that. Falling in love with Max had been my own doing, and I would have to deal with the consequences of that on my own.
That didn’t mean I was angry or upset.
I was the farthest thing from it.
I was grateful.
Loving Max had taught me so much. It had taught me compassion and understanding. I’d learnt how to be patient and calm, how to love someone even when they didn’t feel as though they were deserving of it.
I’d grown so much. For the first time in my life, I’d truly learnt what it was to love someone despite all odds, even when it was a bad idea, even when loving them felt as though it was a fruitless endeavour.
I’d learnt that love didn’t care.
Love didn’t care about the trauma someone carried.
I loved Max in spite of his pain. I loved him because of his pain. I loved him because he was worthy of being loved. I loved him because nothing had ever felt as right or as natural as loving the man who resisted it so emphatically.
I loved him because it was simply impossible to feel any other way about him, no matter how badly I wished I could hate him.
I loved him because I loved him.
I’d fought and argued and yelled at myself. I’d screamed in the shower. I’d cried in the bath. I’d drowned my emotions in ice-cream and crisps and hoped that tomorrow would be a day where I’d wake up and not care about him, but that wasn’t how love worked.
Love didn’t give a damn what I wanted.
I had never loved anyone the way I loved Max.
I would never love anyone the way I loved Max.