Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 112762 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112762 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Frustrated, I wondered if Rich was being deliberately bloody obtuse. “None of that changes the fact that this has marked both Sloane and Callie.”
“It always was going to. Nathan Andros is a dangerous man, and unfortunately, Sloane and Callie were his targets. If you weren’t in their lives, if you hadn’t arranged private security for them, who’s to say he wouldn’t have made his move weeks ago? For all we know, this could have ended very differently, and badly, for Sloane and her daughter if you weren’t in their lives.”
Rationally, I knew he was right.
“Sloane isn’t Iona, Walker,” Rich added carefully.
My gut tightened into a knot. “I know that,” I gritted out.
“Do you? Last time we spoke, you mentioned old nightmares had resurfaced. Have there been any more?”
Fuck.
I nodded.
“Could it be possible you’re conflating your feelings of guilt, of failure, regarding Sloane based on the past trauma of losing Iona the way you did?”
I let his words settle on me. Let them percolate as he waited quietly, patiently. The knot in my gut eased. I had thought it strange that those nightmares had restarted. Maybe the stress of protecting Sloane had resurrected some old ghosts. “Perhaps,” I admitted.
Rich nodded. “Has Sloane made you feel like you failed her?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Worse. She thanked me.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “Sloane clearly doesn’t think you failed her.”
I shrugged.
“We’ve already established you have a deep-seated fear of failing people, Walker. Especially women. Don’t you think it’s possible that your fear is clouding your perspective of the situation with Sloane and Nathan? I don’t think you failed. More importantly, Sloane doesn’t think you failed her.”
I gave him a nod to let him know I was listening, processing.
“Over the next few weeks, I’m going to ask you to examine the events leading to the attack and really come to grips with the elements of the situation that were outside your control. Mostly, I want you to focus on the outcome. Sloane and Callie are safe. I think a good way to concentrate on that part is to spend time with Sloane again. Distance between you will only exacerbate your feelings of failure.”
“I … I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” The more time I spent with Sloane, the more chances I had to fuck up where she was concerned.
“Well, I can only ask you to try. From what you’ve told me of Sloane over our last few sessions, she believes in you a great deal, Walker. And I think you need that from her to help you overcome your fear of failing her. You need to feel capable, and you need to believe in yourself, and yes, absolutely, we still have to work on you getting there on your own. But right now, I think Sloane is an integral part of overcoming your feelings of failure about this particular situation.”
I heard him, and I understood.
But I didn’t know what I wanted from Sloane right now. “I need time to think about it.”
Rich nodded, knowing well my need to process things for a while. “Okay. You take some time. We’ll talk again.”
Twenty-Nine
SLOANE
What a difference a month could make, I thought to myself as I hummed along to music on my phone and readied myself for parents’ evening at the school.
Arro and Mac had fixed up the cottage on insurance money. Apparently, all the Adair family had pitched in to put our home to rights, including Arran and his girlfriend Eredine. Eredine worked as a yoga instructor on the estate but we hadn’t had the opportunity to spend much time together. That two people, who didn’t know us well, would pitch in to help put our home back together, reminded me there was good in the world. That what happened to us wouldn’t change me for the worse.
Callie and I moved back in a week after Nathan’s attack. They’d been overly generous and replaced the smashed TV with an even nicer one, and snuck in a KitchenAid mixer and other little bits and pieces we didn’t have before. This was on top of the hugely discounted rent they charged for the cottage. I honestly didn’t know what I’d done to deserve such kind people around me, but I’d never take them for granted.
Strangely, however, both Callie and I missed Aria, and if I hadn’t been mistaken, she’d been sad to see us go too. She hugged me extra hard the day we moved out of her family home, and I decided then not to let the genuine friendship that had sparked between us fade. Yes, she was my boss, but she was also a really good human whom I worried was lonely. I’d already invited her to have dinner with me and Callie next Sunday, since that seemed to be her quietest day on the estate.