Beyond the Badge – Nox (Blue Avengers MC #6) Read Online Jeanne St. James

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Biker, Dark, MC, Suspense Tags Authors: Series: Blue Avengers MC Series by Jeanne St. James
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Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
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“Isn’t that his name?”

She smothered her laugh with a hand. “No. It’s⁠—“

“I don’t care what it is.” He grabbed the hand from her mouth and pulled it into his chest, effectively pulling her closer. “Liyah?” he murmured.

“Yes?” she whispered.

He stared down into her deep brown eyes. “I’m sorry about the other night,” came out on a breath.

“I’m not.”

“It couldn’t have been great for you.”

“I came, didn’t I?”

“That’s not how I normally…” He wasn’t sure how to finish that. “Fuck” sounded too crude. “Make love” was far from what it was.

The truth was, it had been embarrassingly awkward.

“When’s the last time anything has been ‘normal’ for you?”

Jesus, this woman certainly knew how to peel away his layers. “Too long,” he admitted.

“It takes a while to get back to what you think is normal.” She reached up and cupped his face. “It also takes someone willing to work at it.”

He would love to get back to normal. His normal, anyway. “You’re a good motivator.”

“That’s the point of our group. For us all to motivate each other.”

“No.” He shook his head and gently squeezed her fingers. “Not the group. You.”

“You’re giving me too much credit. Like I said, you have to be willing to change and it seems as though you’re now ready for that.”

“You mean I’ve reached my limit of self-pity.”

“No, you’re tired of being sad about a situation that will never change because it can’t. But no matter what you do, you can’t move on until you accept that situation. Are you ready?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No, you don’t. Unless you want to continue to wallow in your grief, anger and bitterness. Let’s not forget… make everyone around you continue to worry.”

“I like that you’re bold enough to smack me in the face with the truth. You don’t tiptoe around me, worried that I’ll spiral even lower than I already am.”

“Someone needs to be upfront with you. Normally that would be your counselor, but, again, you’re not sharing shit with him or her. Instead, you’re holding everything inside.”

She hadn’t been wrong yet and apparently, she wasn’t finished.

“You’re a ticking time bomb unless you begin to release that built-up pressure. Friday was a start to that release. So, don’t apologize for it. You’re moving forward whether you took a step, or you stumbled.”

“You’re saying I stumbled with the way I fucked you?”

She locked eyes with him. “Yes.”

“Do you ever lie?”

“All the time. I have two kids.”

When he burst out laughing, she leaned back as far as his hold would allow, with her eyes wide and her mouth gaped. “Holy shit.”

For the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel the need to smother a laugh or his grin, or to cut it short. He let it go. It was that release she was talking about.

“The sound of that...” she breathed.

“It’s rusty.”

“No, Nox, it’s… the most amazing sound I’ve heard in a while.”

And it was all due to her.

Chapter Twenty-One

The joy on her face was genuine and all it took to put it there was for him to laugh.

A fucking laugh.

Jesus Christ. That was how much of a sad fucking sap he’d been. “I’m sorry.”

She frowned. “For what?”

Of course, now he just killed her joy. “For making everyone worry.”

“You need to tell them, not me. But if you ask me, I don’t think you need to apologize to them, either. If they are your true brothers, they understand. And whether you grieve for two months or five years, they would be there to help and support you for however long it takes.”

Again, she was right. This woman was so goddamn bright, it was blinding.

She pulled her hand from his grip and planted both palms on his pecs before sliding them up to his shoulders and squeezing him there. “You’re going to be okay.”

It was a simple statement, but he believed it now.

He would be okay.

He slid both hands along her jawline and tipped her face up even higher. She stared up at him as he brushed his thumb back and forth across her soft cheek. There wasn’t a big difference in their heights, since she was naturally tall and wore those heels tonight.

She could almost look him right in the eye.

Almost. But he still had to dip his head a little to meet her soft gaze.

She dragged her fingers from one shoulder, up his neck and the side of his face, making the fire in his gut burn even hotter. She popped his hat off his head and tossed it on the shelf behind her before turning back to face him.

She had a heated look in her eyes that continued to stoke that fire. “Liyah…”

“Hmm?”

He was about to tell her that they shouldn’t continue.

But why the fuck not?

She was single. He was single. He needed to get it through his thick fucking skull this was not cheating.



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