Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
“I already have a therapist. I don’t need another one.”
She was definitely not a therapist, but she could speak from her own experience. “And do you actually talk to this person? Or do you sit on the couch closed off with your arms crossed over your chest and your mouth pinned shut?”
His sharp jaw shifted. “Again, my life doesn’t affect yours.”
“Not mine, no. But despite what you think, it’s affecting the people who love you.”
He blinked, then pulled in an audible breath.
Ah, maybe that was a way to convince him to work on dealing with his grief. Not for himself but for everyone else. His family, if he had any, his BAMC brotherhood and maybe even his coworkers at Shadow Valley PD.
“If you don’t care about yourself, then what about everyone else around you? Don’t you care about them?”
“I gotta go.”
“Of course you do.” She blocked his way out of the closet. Could he push past her? Sure, if he really wanted to. “Like I said, always running from me. You don’t want to hear the truth.”
He leaned in and went practically nose-to-nose with her, grinding out, “Here’s some truth for you… I don’t like the new format for the group.”
She shrugged. “Then I suggest you start your own group. You can stand at the lectern and scowl at everyone who shows up. Then you can continue standing there for an hour not saying a damn thing. Good luck with that.”
“Why do you feel the need to push me?”
If she didn’t, who would?
Yes, some of the people who cared about him forced him to attend therapy and the grief group. However, only attending—and not participating—did him no good. So, yes, he had taken the first step by showing up, but now he needed to take the next. Even if he was forced to take it by being pushed.
Or being shoved hard. Sometimes tough love was more effective than gentle persuasion.
“You know, you’re right. I’m wasting too much energy on you. You have made it abundantly clear that you don’t want help, so… Have a nice life, Bradley Lennox. With the way you’re going, that life might be short-lived.” After dropping that harsh wake-up call, she spun on her heel to leave.
She didn’t even finish taking a step before his hand snaked out and grabbed her arm, swinging her back around to face him.
The man was no longer annoyed, he was pissed. “You don’t know shit about me.”
“You’re right, I don’t, but I was willing to listen. I offered an ear, and you didn’t want to take me up on that. I’m done, Nox. Especially after what you pulled at the coffee shop. You don’t want help; you want to wallow in your misery. So do that. But when you do, you need to look the people who love you in their eyes and tell them you don’t care about them the same as they do you. Tell them you don’t give a fuck that they worry about you. Tell them you couldn’t care less about being happy and you prefer to be a miserable asshole for the rest of your life. Poor Nox, he’s such a victim.”
She tried to pull her arm free, but he only tightened his grip.
“No matter how short that life is?” he growled. “It’s been almost two years, and I haven’t offed myself yet, so maybe you don’t know shit.”
Holy shit, was he aware that he just gave her a tiny piece of info? Did he do it on purpose? But what floored her the most was the revelation that he lost his wife almost two years ago.
Two fucking years and he was still swallowing his grief.
More like choking on it. That couldn’t be healthy.
“I think the problem you have with me is, I do know shit. I can see through that wall you’ve constructed around yourself, and you don’t like that.”
“And you think you can break down that wall.”
“I can, but I can’t do it alone.”
“And who’s going to help you?”
“I need your help,” she said softly. “You need to want it, too, Nox.”
“That’s the problem. I do want it. I never expected to want it again but by you being all up in my goddamn face, you’ve forced me to pay attention. I did.”
What the hell was he talking about? “You want me to help you?” Was he finally giving in?
“No.”
What the hell? She shook her head. “You’re not making any sense.”
“Because none of it makes sense to me,” he ground out.
Well, that was as clear as mud. “So, explain.”
“No need to explain, I can just show you.”
His voice had turned gruff and if she thought his eyes were dark when he was pissed, they were even darker now.
The way he was looking at her…
Should she be afraid?
It was possible he wasn’t a threat to himself but to others. Like to her. Had she pushed him too far?