Total pages in book: 214
Estimated words: 202638 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1013(@200wpm)___ 811(@250wpm)___ 675(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 202638 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1013(@200wpm)___ 811(@250wpm)___ 675(@300wpm)
I present myself to the mirror, but I don’t look much better after my attempts to make myself appear better. My eyes are probably matching Jesse’s on the hollow scale and the empty feeling that’s been lingering since last Sunday has not been filled by Jesse’s presence. Maybe I’ve got all of this wrong. Maybe I am better walking away because I certainly don’t feel any better for being here. I sigh at my reflection, willing it to give me some answers, but I know the only place I can find the answers I’m looking for is sat downstairs feasting on peanut butter. I grab my bag and make my way down to him.
He’s asleep. I look at him sat on the sofa, one leg up, one hanging off the edge, his palm resting on his chest. His mouth is slightly parted and his lashes are flickering. I leave him, taking myself to the kitchen to down my pill and use the time to send a quick text to Kate, letting her know all is fine, even though it’s not, and then I ring my brother. With all that’s happened, I forgot I’m supposed to be seeing him today.
‘Ava?’
‘Dan!’ It’s so good to hear his voice. ‘Where are you?’
‘Well, the hotel I was booked into let me down, so I’m staying with Harvey.’ he teases.
I ignore his little dig. He doesn’t care that he’s had to find somewhere else to crash. He hated Matt. ‘How are Mum and Dad?’ I ask.
‘Worried,’ he states flatly.
I knew they would be. ‘They needn’t be.’
‘Yeah, well, they are. And me too. Where are you?’
Shit!
Where am I? I can hardly tell him exactly where I am and with who. ‘Kate’s,’ I lie. It’s not like he’ll be talking to her or visiting her to discover the truth. And anyway, Mum knows I’m supposed to be at Kate’s and I’m certain she would have told him. Is he testing me?
Silence falls down the phone line at the mention of Kate’s name. ‘I see,’ he says shortly. ‘Still?’
Oh, the detachment in his voice. They haven’t seen each other for years, but time, it would appear, is not a healer. ‘It’s just temporary, Dan. I’m looking for somewhere as we speak.’ Actually, as we speak, I’m sitting in the penthouse of Lusso waiting for the Sex Lord of The Manor – who has a raging hangover and with whom I’m in love with – to wake up so I can take him to the hospital and get his hand seen to – the one that he put through a window because I pissed him off. I start pacing around the kitchen island.
‘Have you spoken to that twat of an ex?’ he asks. The spite in his voice is palpable.
‘No, but I’ve heard he’s been in touch with Mum and Dad. That’s very nice of him.’
‘Fucking prick. We need to talk about this. Mum filled me in on her little chat with Matt. I know he’s a snake, but Mum’s worried. It didn’t help you not coming down to Newquay.’
‘I rang,’ I defend myself.
‘Yeah, and I know you’ve not given her the whole story. What’s with this new man?’
I freeze mid-pace. That’s a good question. ‘Dan, there are some things you can’t tell your parents.’
‘Yes, but you can tell your brother.’ he says firmly.
‘Can I?’ I blurt. I highly doubt that. Big brother would probably join my Dad in the heart attack ward. This is the reason I didn’t go to Newquay; interrogation and nagging. I will have to face up to it eventually, but not now. I’ve never been so glad that my parents live so far away.
‘Yes, you can. So, when can I see you?’ he asks, chirping up a little.
See me or squeeze me for information? ‘Tomorrow?’ I try.
‘I thought we were doing today?’ He sounds so disappointed.
So am I. I really want to see him, but I really don’t too. ‘I’m sorry. I’m looking at a few places to rent, and then I’ve got stacks of drawings to finalise.’ I lie again, but I couldn’t possibly muster up the strength to appear reasonably normal in such a short space of time. Maybe by tomorrow I’ll have dragged myself out of my hole of depression and uncertainty. I very much doubt it, but at least I have time to try.
‘Great, we’ll make a day of it.’ he confirms my fears.
A whole day of evading his questions? ‘Okay, ring me in the morning.’ I say, and secretly hope he goes out with all of his mates tonight and suffers a dreadful hangover which delays his call to me. I need time.
‘Sure thing. See you tomorrow, kid.’ He hangs up.
I start thinking of ways to get around this and after an hour of aimless pacing around the penthouse, I come up with none. I can’t avoid him forever.