Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 131486 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 526(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131486 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 526(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
“Yeah.” She darts doubtful glances between the two of us. “Just had a question.”
“I better get out there,” I tell them, my smile coming through for me. “It’s almost midnight.”
I leave them together and a little anxious knot forms in my belly. I never asked Josiah much about their breakup, but took him at face value when he said it wasn’t working out. I haven’t seen them together much over the last month. It’s clear to me, though, that she still has feelings for him. What if they find a way to work it out after all?
What demon prompts it, I don’t know, but I tiptoe back to the cellar to stand outside the door. There’s no sound, no conversation coming from inside. Back pressed to the wall like I’m in a spy movie, I lean my head just the slightest bit. It’s only for a split second, but long enough to see them in an embrace. She’s so petite, her head fits neatly under his chin, his arms linked at the small of her back. I jerk back immediately, rushing as quickly and quietly down the hall as possible.
What’s stopping him from going back to her?
Are they sleeping together again?
Have they reconciled and he just didn’t tell me? Because why would he tell me? He doesn’t have to. We had one night in two years of not trusting each other and nothing more between us than business and our kids. It was one night, but nothing has changed.
Tears burn my throat as I zip past the kitchen and lean against the wall before I reach the dining room.
“You ready, Yas?”
Startled, I look up at the question, brushing hasty fingers under my eyes. Cassie’s gaze fills with concern.
“You okay? We can get someone else to do the toast if you—”
“No.” I straighten and flick my ponytail over one shoulder, smile plastered on my face—all balls and bravado. “I’m ready.”
After the last few years when I wasn’t able to plan this or to be here, the night has been a success. I won’t let anything ruin it. Not even a possible reconciliation between Josiah and Vashti. It’s a new year, a new day. If anyone needs to leave the past behind, it’s me.
Bayli passes me a glass of champagne, and I take my spot onstage by the DJ’s booth. With microphone in one hand and bubbly in the other, I survey the capacity crowd. The booth is positioned so that I can not only see the entire bottom floor, but look up and see most of the tables on the landing above too. There are speakers on the roof so those diners can hear the music all night, and they also will hear my toast.
“May I have your attention,” I begin, my broad smile firmly in place. It’s too many people for me to know everyone, but so many of the faces are familiar. Peripherally, I note Josiah and Vashti at the bar together, but I don’t allow myself to linger on them. There are parents from Kassim’s soccer team. Members of the Skyland Association. Sinja from Honey Chile. Regular customers who sent cards and flowers for weeks when word got out that we’d lost Henry. Deidre, who never stopped coming by with her casseroles and stacks of romance novels, is tucked into a corner across the dining room. Clint gives me a thumbs-up, while Brock holds their beautiful baby girl on his chest. My eyes drift up to the landing, where Soledad and Hendrix, my friends who keep my secrets and soothe my hurts, smile down at me.
“I’m supposed to make a toast,” I say. “But I first want to thank you all for coming tonight and for your support throughout this year. Grits couldn’t keep on without you.”
I search my mind for something meaningful to say. If I’d prepared, I would have crafted something safe that felt sincere, but didn’t reveal too much. I didn’t, though, so I’m only left with this real thing I’ll probably regret saying tomorrow.
“I wasn’t at this party the last couple of years,” I say. “It’s been a tough time for me, as many of you know. If you don’t, just think of a time in your life when you felt you’d lost everything. That was me, and I couldn’t bring myself to show up and pretend otherwise.”
My words seem to fall into a vat of silence. I’m self-conscious, and the smile that comes to my lips is genuine but faint.
“If any of you are in that place tonight, I encourage you not to give up. To give yourself time to heal, to grow, to find joy again. What a difference a year can make, and in just a few minutes, we get a brand-new one. As long as you have a new year, you have another chance.”