Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 68456 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 342(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68456 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 342(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Sadly, most of the people she steals from are well aware of what she’s done, but they’re all afraid to say anything about it. Instead, they kiss her ass in the hopes they’ll get some of her audience. I find it disheartening that someone so shallow, egotistical, and cruel has risen to the top, but as my grandmother used to say some people absolutely have to have someone to follow. My grandfather would then point out that weakness and gullibility were things dictators preyed on to take power. There’s truth in both statements.
With a heavy sigh, I return to my desk. Tapping my iPad Pro, I pull up the post she gave me grief about. Scrolling down, I clench my jaw to hold back a scream. She’s making me stay late for missing three comments.
After responding—which takes me less than a minute—I pick up my phone and bring up the manifestation app I bought a few weeks ago. There, I silently repeat the series of affirmations I’ve been focusing on since I started using the app:
I trust that better things are coming.
I believe that change is on its way.
I allow the universe to guide me toward the life I’m meant to live.
After quietly repeating each one of the affirmations seven times, I shut the app, let out a long breath, and say, “Hey, universe? It’s me, Ashley. Just wanted to say it’d be awesome if we could pick up the pace on this ‘creating a new life’ thing. Pretty sure if things don’t change soon, my brain is going to explode.”
_______________
THE SCENT OF strong, rich coffee that always lingers in the air of Coleman’s Convenience Mart greets me as I step through the door. Lifting my hand, I wave at Rob, who is standing behind the counter. He’s the closest thing I have to a cousin, and he’s also my landlord.
Rob raises his chin and smiles in greeting. “Hey, Ash. Good news: I finally heard back from the appliance repair shop. They’ll be here Friday at nine to fix your washer. I know Hateful Hadley won’t let you come in late, so I’ve got you covered. I’ll let them in and oversee the repair.”
I shoot him a thankful grin on my way to the drink station at the end of the counter. Plucking the largest available cup, I slide it beneath the hot chocolate dispenser.
“I don’t tell you enough how much I love your face,” I tell Rob as the sweet chocolate I almost always end my day with begins to fill the cup. “I’d love to take the morning off and deal with the repair myself, but Hadley’s being such a bitc—”
I stop and then give myself a mental pat on the back for not getting the derogatory descriptive I’d intended to use all the way out. The manifestation app and the books I’ve been reading for the last two months make it clear that maintaining a positive attitude is essential if I’m going to live the life of my dreams. And according to all the guided meditations on YouTube, the reading, and the online journaling I’m doing, it’s becoming more and more obvious that life isn’t here in Los Angeles.
The underlying message found in all my manifestation and visualization exercises are definitely having an effect on the way I think. I understand I need to minimize negative thoughts, focus on positive things that will create more energy around me, and gather the courage to make life-changing decisions. I know where I want to go, but taking that leap of faith scares me.
“You gotta leave that job,” Rob grumbles. “At your age, I was grabbing life by the throat. I know my choices aren’t for everyone, but those years were some of the best times of my life. You’re so damn tired that you don’t even have the energy to go out on the weekends. Life is passing you by and for what? To have some uppity bitch spend her days cracking the whip on you? Give that woman the finger, clear out your desk tomorrow, and let Karen place you in a job. The employment agency she works for is listing new gigs every day.”
Now that my grandfather is gone, Rob and his girlfriend Karen are all that remains of my family. While I appreciate their care and concern more than I can say, I can’t imagine quitting my current job without having something better lined up.
Still, I’m cognizant of the fact that Rob has a point. Life is passing me by, and my job is like an albatross around my neck, but I have excellent benefits. With finding a full-time position with insurance getting harder by the day, I think of it as a trade-off. After watching my grandfather go through more than half of his retirement savings to pay for all the “extra” costs of his cancer treatment, I don’t feel as though I can turn my back on the full-coverage package I have.