Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
I studied him as they danced. Gage was a couple of inches taller than me, more muscular. He had a strong jawline and cheekbones. Full lips and the best smile. He laughed at something. Inky-black, messy hair fell into his eyes. He shook it out, then glanced my way and smiled. My stupid, annoying heart jolted.
I turned to Mouse. “Why did I have to fall in love with him?” I mean, I knew why. He had the biggest heart of anyone I knew. He fought for the underdog—for me. He was tough but knew how to be vulnerable with me. He didn’t like bullies, and he would do anything for his friends. If Gage could, he would take care of all of us, protect us, and not give a shit about himself.
“Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry.” She rested her head on my shoulder, her voice so low, I could hardly make out her words when she said, “I’m scared to let myself love Romeo.”
Shock slammed into my chest. I opened my mouth to reply, but then Romeo was there, giving us drinks.
“You owe me a dance now.”
“Okay, but let’s wait until Hero gets back to sit with Joey.”
“No, you don’t have to do that,” I told them.
Romeo nodded Gage’s way. “I think he’s gonna be a while.”
I looked over to see him and Katie kissing while they danced. Bile rose in my throat as a meat grinder destroyed my heart.
“Go. Dance.”
“Are you sure?” Mouse asked.
“Yep.”
She kissed my forehead, and the second they were gone, I left.
I was in bed for about an hour when I heard the familiar tap, tap, tap on my window. I knew without looking it was Gage.
I could pretend to sleep or that I didn’t hear him, but I knew I’d eventually give in, so I climbed out of bed, opened the window, and he lifted himself inside the way he had a thousand times before. We didn’t worry about getting caught, since my dad’s room was upstairs.
“What the hell, man? I can’t believe you fucking bounced without telling me.”
“You were busy,” I bit out. God, jealousy wasn’t a good look on me.
I sat on my bed, and with a sigh, Gage sat beside me. “We could have found you a date too.”
“No, we couldn’t have. I just…I just want to dance like everyone else.” But I didn’t want to do it with a girl. I wanted to do it with a boy—Gage, specifically, but for a dance, I wasn’t too picky.
Like always, Gage read between my words, read my thoughts. He knew it was because I couldn’t be gay, not in Hendersonville. Not with my dad. He stood up, went to my radio, and turned it on, the volume low so it wouldn’t wake my dad.
A love song was playing softly, and he walked over, stopped in front of me, and held out his hand. “Jojo Robinson, would you dance with me?”
Warmth spread through me, my body crackling and sizzling. Still, I didn’t want to be his charity case. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to do this. Shut up and dance with me. You know I won’t stop until I get my way.”
He wouldn’t. Gage was determined as hell. It was the lie I told myself as I breathed out and took his hand. Gage helped me up, then pulled me close. Our bodies molded together as we danced, arms around each other, my face in his neck. Somehow, he smelled like a mixture of musk, vanilla, and comfort, if that even had a scent.
He ran his hand up and down my back, and I closed my eyes, savored it, pretended it was more than it was. Pretended this was the first of many. It was both beautiful and terrible—beautiful because it was us, terrible because it was a lie. Gage was only doing it for me.
We moved together, and I breathed him in, tried not to cry. He nuzzled his face into my hair, and surprise shifted through me when he inhaled, breathing me in as well. His hand fisted my shirt at the small of my back, and he pulled me closer, when I thought we’d already been as close as possible.
When the song ended, we stopped. It was hard to look at him. It physically hurt sometimes to look at him and know he couldn’t be mine. Not in the way I wanted.
“I like that I’m your first dance,” he said softly. “One day you’ll meet a guy, and he’ll dance with you all the time, and make you smile, but you better tell him I’m not going anywhere, okay? You and me, we’re a package deal, remember? I go where you go. I am what you are.”
He kissed my forehead, then went for the window and climbed out without another word.