Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
“Sounds good, man. I’ll wait for you outside.”
I changed into workout clothes, got a water, and went out to meet him.
“We can take my car,” Darrel said.
The workout ended up being exactly what I needed. We did weight training, followed by aerobic on the treadmill. I sweated out some of my anxiety, reveling in the familiar muscle burn.
Afterward, as Darrel was pulling into the driveway, I forced myself to say what I should have told him weeks ago. “Thank you for letting Joey stay here with me. I should have spoken to you about it first, but I didn’t know it would be an everyday thing. He still has his place, but for whatever reason, he seems to want to be here, and I…well, I want to be wherever he is and give him what he needs. If you’d like me to pay more in rent, I can, or if you think I need to look for another place, I can do that too.”
“Affordable housing isn’t easy to come by in LA.”
I nodded because I knew that, but it didn’t matter to me. I’d do whatever it took to have Joey. Then why aren’t I taking some of the same steps he is?
“I don’t mind him staying here. It’s good to see you smile. And I hope we’ve become friends since you moved in.”
“Absolutely. I’m sorry if I haven’t made that more obvious.” Christ, I was shit at this. It was so strange, since being social and having friends wasn’t something I struggled with before everything went down.
“You’re doin’ fine. Let’s get out and talk.”
Nerves felt like spider legs on my spine. Still, I got out and followed Darrel through the gate and around back to the picnic table.
“I wanna reiterate that you and Joey are both welcome here. This has nothing to do with that. I…well, I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t honest. I do it because I care about you. This is me as a friend talking, not a counselor. I just want to make sure you know I’m always around if you need anything. You can tell me it’s none of my business, and it’s not, really, but I want to make sure you know I’m a friend and I’m here.”
I bent down and tugged a stray weed out of the grass, even though it wasn’t in the garden. “I know. I just… I’m not so good at talking anymore. Or hell, maybe I never was, not about stuff that matters. I don’t know how to talk to anyone but him.” And Mouse and Romeo, to a degree.
“You’re talking to me now.”
I rolled my eyes playfully. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” He pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it over. “No obligation, but I wanted to give you this. He’s a buddy of mine. He’s worked with people who’ve been inside and who’ve dealt with trauma. He’s queer friendly too. I wanted to make sure you know you have options.”
I twisted the card over in my hand a few times but didn’t try to read it, appreciation building in my gut and spreading out.
“He works on a sliding scale too,” Darrel added.
“I… Thanks. I need to talk to someone, I guess, if I want to be strong for him.”
“You need to be strong for you too, Gage. Don’t let yourself forget that.” I nodded, and he clapped me on the back. “Now that that’s done, I was thinking we could have a barbecue tonight, the three of us.”
“I’d like that,” I told him, meaning it.
“Good. Now we need to work on me finding a man too.”
I laughed and wanted to hold on to this feeling. Knew I had to make changes if I was going to make it last.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Joey
Today was my first appointment with my new therapist, and I was nervous as hell. It didn’t help that Gage’s job got delayed a day, so he was off, and we’d made plans for him to come to the garage for lunch. Now I had two things to stress about. It wasn’t something I should have been nervous about. I understood that, but that didn’t mean it was easy not to be. Angel knew I was gay and had no problem with it, but when your dad beats you for loving a guy and that guy accidentally kills him, that’s something that stays with you and affects you in every possible way.
“Why you pacin’ around? Chill out,” Angel said with a smile. “Want me to leave and pretend I don’t know your boyfriend’s coming?”
“Ha-ha.” But really, what he said helped. He was being the same old Angel he always was, which was exactly what I needed.
“That him?” He nodded toward the open bay door just as Gage’s old Honda pulled up.
“Yeah, that’s him.”
“Do I get to meet him? Maria will be pissed if I don’t report back.”