Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 474(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 474(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Not like I failed before.
“Tigran?” Dasha’s sitting on the couch. She’s got an ice pack on her knee and a home decorating magazine open in her lap. “What’s going on?”
I run to her and drop to a knee. I take her hands in mine and pull her close, smelling her, kissing her, making sure there are no visible wounds. “Baby, it’s okay, I’m here now,” I say, hugging her tightly.
“Urk,” she says. “Tigran.”
“I’ve got you.” I close my eyes. Fuck, if she’s hurt—
“Tigran,” she gasps, and I realize I’m being a little overzealous and release my grip. She sucks in air and gives me a completely confused stare. “What the heck is happening?”
“This might be my fault,” Grigor says from the doorway.
I slowly turn to him. “You called. You said she fell.”
“I did,” Dasha says, clearly trying not to laugh. “But I just hit my knee. I told him to call.”
“I’m sorry, sir, I tried to tell you it wasn’t a big deal. She just wanted to ask you to get more Advil on your way home and maybe a new ice pack as well.”
I stare at them. My guard looks like he’s worried I might shoot him. Dasha’s got both hands over her mouth, shoulders shaking with mirth.
I collapse onto the couch as relief floods me.
“You’re okay,” I say, pulling her hand into mine. “It was just a misunderstanding.”
“I’m fine, Tigran, you crazy person.” She’s beaming as she looks over at Grigor. “I think we need a moment alone, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Happily,” the guard grunts and shuts the door behind him.
I pull my wife into my arms. My heart’s racing like crazy. Fuck, I thought she was hurt. I thought the baby might be hurt. I thought everything had gone wrong and I’d fucked up again.
“I’m safe, Tigran,” she whispers, nuzzling close. “I’m safe because of you.”
“It’s not enough.”
“Baby—”
“I’m going to fix everything. Baby-proof every inch of this place. Make it all padded and foam-covered so nobody can ever hurt themselves in here again.”
“Tigran,” she says gently, leaning back. “You can’t do that.”
“Watch me.” I touch her face. “I thought I’d lost you.”
“Because I fell off a stepladder?”
“Don’t mock me, pisik.”
She leans in and kisses me gently. “Never. You know that. But please, be realistic.”
“You and the baby are everything to me now.”
“And you’re everything to me.” She kisses me lightly. “But you can’t take the danger away from my life. Not entirely. Remember, everything’s sweeter with contrast?”
“I was talking about making sex feel better by spanking your ass,” I snarl as she strokes my hair.
“But it applies to life too. If I hide away in my rooms forever, what kind of existence is that? Just bland and nothing. Safe but the same every day. I need contrasts, Tigran. A little bit of risk.”
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head, but she kisses me firmly.
“Yes, baby, a little bit. A normal amount. Less than most people, but not zero. You can’t keep me sheltered.”
I hug her tight. I know she’s right. Within reason, at least. I can do my best to make sure the big things don’t touch her. Men like Seamus. My future enemies.
But everything else? Bumps and bruises? Little falls from stepladders and twisted knees?
I can’t take that away from her.
That’s living.
“I’m not Natalia,” she whispers, stroking my cheek. “And I never will be.”
Finally, I break. I feel it crack deep inside my soul. The steel I’ve sheltered myself with. The obsession over her safety. The constant nagging fear that I’ll fail her.
“I love you,” I say and pull her into my lap. I kiss her hard. “I love you, and I will protect you and take care of you with everything I have.”
“I know, baby,” she says, blinking rapidly, a big dumb smile on her face. “And I love you too.”
The kiss lasts a long time. It’s laced with the promise of a future. A child together, maybe two, maybe more. Nights in bed exploring our sins. Days growing side by side.
Contrasts too, plenty of contrasts, some of them good and some of the bad, but all of them ours.
“You really rushed here because Grigor told you I fell?” She’s being playful now. Her teasing smile brightens the darkness.
“I pictured the worst.”
“You’re so dramatic sometimes.”
“I prefer protective.”
“I’m sure you do.” She wiggles her hips, grinding down into my lap. Her teasing smile turns downright mischievous. “Since you’re here, and since you love me, maybe you could stay for a while?”
I grip her ass with both hands. “Maybe I could.”
“I need you to make me feel all better. Since I hurt myself and all.”
“That, my love—” I kiss her again, long and deep. “That I can do.”
Chapter 36
Tigran
“How did it go?” Evan asks as we approach. The upscale private doctor’s office looms behind us. He’s leaning against the hood of his black sedan, looking only slightly nervous.