Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 115833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Her head shook as she bit into her bottom lip.
I took a step toward her, losing my smile and all the hope that’d bloomed in my chest. I thought she liked what we did. I thought she was opening up to me and embracing this thing between us for once, but the contemplation in her eyes spoke otherwise.
“What are you so afraid of, Davina?”
At that, her eyes snapped to mine. She stared at me for so long it felt like she was looking through me.
Then she swung the door open, dropped her eyes, and said, “Everything, Deke. Everything between us scares the shit out of me.”
She scurried inside, and when the door slammed behind her, my chest tightened with both longing and frustration. Not frustration with her, but with myself.
“It was too soon,” I muttered, slumping down in a chair. “Too fucking soon, Deke.”
THIRTY-SIX
DAVINA
The night after I returned from Miami, I chose to burn the midnight oil. I tried distracting myself with work, but all I could think about was what’d happened with Deke on that rooftop.
What the hell was I even thinking? It never should’ve gotten that far. But he was so close and so damn sexy, and having the privacy of that moment made me lose all morals.
The worst part of it all was that I wanted more. I wanted so much more. I had no idea he was so good with his tongue, and maybe I’d been long overdue to release an orgasm with a male counterpart, but when I say that I shattered, I fucking shattered.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d come so hard and so fast. I mean, sure, Lew was decent at oral, but my late husband didn’t even come close to Deke. Lew never talked to me like that. He never spoke to my body with so much carnal hunger, and he’d never been able to make me come in a matter of seconds like Deke had.
Groaning, I pressed a hand to my forehead and shut my eyes. Here I go again, comparing him to Lew. Deke and Lewis were two completely different men. I had to stop doing that.
I closed my laptop and left my desk to find my phone on the kitchen counter. A part of me was hoping to find a notification waiting, preferably an email. I missed the emails that would appear from Deke when I happened to check my phone. I missed a lot of things when it came to him, and it was an unexpected feeling.
A loud snore filled the room, and my eyes flickered up to Octavia, sprawled out on the couch with her eyes closed and her mouth half-open. Her black satin bonnet had slipped off one side of her head, and a few strands of her locs were hanging out.
I snorted a laugh. At least someone was getting some sleep around here.
After grabbing a blanket and spreading it over her, I tapped the app for my emails and found the thread I shared with Bishop. I hit the Reply button, and because my heart was sick and I felt terrible for leaving him stranded on that rooftop, I searched for a white flag emoji, typed Truce? then added my number below.
I hit Send before I could change my mind or think too hard about it, then carried my phone with me to the bedroom. I fluffed my pillows, put on my satin bonnet, slipped into one of Lewis’s hoodies, and curled beneath the comforter.
As I shut off the lamp and settled in, my phone buzzed next to me. When I checked the caller ID, I was sure it was Deke. I felt a flutter deep in my stomach when I tapped the green Answer button.
“Hi, Deke.”
“What’s up, D?” His voice was deep and gravelly, like he hadn’t used it in a few hours. Still, the sound of it caused a delightful twist in my belly.
“What are you doing?”
“Watching The Great British Baking Show with Zeke.”
I couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out. “You’re not joking, are you?”
“Hell no. This is my show,” he declared proudly. “It’s got that cozy vibe to it. You ever look at the desserts they make, hear how the judges describe it, and your mouth starts watering? It makes me want to be a judge.”
“You should add that to your bucket list, then.”
“Oh, I am.”
“I figured you’d be watching one of those sports channels or something,” I said.
“Nah. I avoid it. All they do is talk shit between the highlights.”
“Hmm.” I sat up against the headboard and released a slow sigh. Even when I knew he was upset with me, he still made everything seem okay.
“Listen, Deke . . . I shouldn’t have run off on you like that. I’m really sorry. I just . . . well, this whole situation is hard for me, I guess.” I paused, trying to think of better words. “It’s just that I’m realizing how much I actually like you, and it, um . . . it feels too soon to like someone this much. That’s why I said I was scared, because I know that if I get attached to you, there’s a possibility I could lose what we have. Maybe not in the way I lost my husband—God forbid—but in some other crazy scenario.”