Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 115833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
“What?” Octavia set a plate down on the glass table. “Who is it from?”
“Um . . .” I read Deke’s name again, waiting to see if it’d transform to someone else’s, but nope. It was his. “Just a colleague.” I sat as Octavia went back to the kitchen, murmuring the words orange juice.
I couldn’t stop staring at the flowers. They were gorgeous, and on this gloomy day, they truly had brought a little light. But it wasn’t the beauty of the flowers that had me so surprised to see them. It was the significance.
I’d mentioned tulips being my favorite flower at the photo shoot a few weeks prior. I couldn’t believe he remembered such a small detail about me—something so minuscule during a mindless conversation.
I picked up my fork and smiled.
THIRTEEN
DAVINA
After my sister had forced me to get dressed and grocery shop with her, we decided to sit on the deck, with the string lights glowing.
It’d rained earlier, and the weather had dropped to a cool seventy degrees, which was a nice reprieve from the blazing-hot start of summer.
I cozied up on one of the upholstered outdoor seats with a glass of wine as I inhaled the fresh, damp air. We’d had dinner, and I helped myself to two glasses. Hell, I’d already guzzled down a whole bottle the night before. I didn’t see the point in stopping now. So much for that lifestyle change.
I mean, technically, we were celebrating Lewis’s birthday. We even bought cupcakes again, so that made it an occasion.
The reason I changed my drinking habits was because everything had changed after Lewis’s diagnosis. I’d been so strong for him when he cried, lost his hair, and lived in pain. But behind every strong person is an even stronger vice. Mine was wine.
I wouldn’t have considered myself an alcoholic, but whenever I’d needed to loosen up and kill the noise, I’d grabbed a bottle. I’d have a glass or two every night after work, but when life got harder, I’d tack on another glass.
There had been one night in particular, when I created my vow to slow down on drinking. Lew was feeling ill, so I helped him get into bed early. I thought he was asleep, so while I worked, I drank about two or three glasses of wine. Eventually, the work was put aside, and I fell asleep on the couch.
What I didn’t realize then was that Lew woke up in the middle of the night and vomited several times. Meanwhile, my sorry ass was passed out a room away and oblivious to it.
When he told me about it the next morning, I wanted to cry. I felt so guilty for not being there for him. He kept assuring me it was fine, that he was okay, but none of it was okay. I’d drunk myself into a damn coma while my husband had been suffering all night.
It was that day I had promised him and myself I’d cut back on drinking. I’d needed to change anyway . . . but I suppose none of that really mattered anymore.
Octavia took the chair next to mine and spread a blanket over her legs.
“Hey,” I called as she held her glass in the air to adjust herself without spillage. When she looked up, I smiled. “Thank you for being here for me these last couple of days, Octavia—hell, the last couple of months. It means a lot.”
“Oh, girl. Stop. That’s what I’m here for.” She waved a dismissive hand at me, but I didn’t miss the proud grin on her face.
“No, I mean it. I wouldn’t even be functioning right now if it weren’t for you.”
“Well, you know Mama and Abe were here too. Did you call her?”
“Here we go. Just take the gratitude, Tavia.” I swirled my wine in the glass.
Yes, my mom and little brother had come down once they’d heard about Lew, and they’d been there for the funeral. But that’s what mothers were supposed to do, right? Be there for their daughters? Make sure they were okay?
I wasn’t sure why this feeling had come over me the last few years, but I’d developed a bitterness toward my mother that I couldn’t shake. It was stupid, because all I had to do was let it go and pretend nothing was wrong, like I had all those years ago, but that was hard to do when I realized how short life was.
The decisions she’d made when I was younger affected me even now. I bet my life could’ve been so much better had she stepped up to the plate, but she hadn’t until I was almost out of high school.
“I’m just saying!” My sister threw an innocent hand in the air. “If Abe didn’t have camp, she’d be here right now.”
I pursed my lips. I wanted to ignore Octavia, but when I met her eyes, I softened.