Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 133321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 667(@200wpm)___ 533(@250wpm)___ 444(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 667(@200wpm)___ 533(@250wpm)___ 444(@300wpm)
“You just what?” he demands, his voice low, taut, and still he doesn’t touch me.
“I felt like that safe feeling was a lie. I was so hurt when I left that I think it’s hard to let down my guard again.”
“I didn’t cheat on you, Mia. I don’t deserve to have you put up that kind of guard again.”
“I know, but I pulled up a guard to protect myself and now I have to pull that wall down. I am pulling it down. The problem is that when I pull it down, what’s left is me leaving you over a lie that wasn’t yours. That makes us unsteady.”
“To me, unsteady was when we were apart. Steady is here, now. Together.”
“It is, but you own your world in a way that most do not. You own my world and me when I’m with you. With my heart on the line, that’s more than scary. It’s terrifying.”
“And you own mine, Mia. You are my world.”
He says the words with deep, guttural passion, but he still doesn’t touch me. “I think it’s hard to feel like your equal,” I admit, just wanting to say it, to get it all out once and for all.
“When have I ever made you feel less than me?” He pushes off the counter, his hands settling at his hips, withdrawing even further. “I talked to you about everything. I trusted you with everything. I needed you with me through it all.”
“But you have to know that there are few human beings on this planet that can stand next to you and not compare themselves and judge themselves unworthy. I always wanted to deserve to be by your side. I wanted to have more depth to what I offer when you do ask my opinion.”
“And you thought you didn’t? Aside from being beautiful and intelligent, Mia, you, like my father, have a moral compass that keeps mine in line. He loved that about you just like I do. You keep me solid.”
“You don’t need me for that. Your father carved right and wrong into your very being. I want to be more than that for you and for me. That was something I was working toward when we broke up and it felt good. I need my own successes, so when you pulled me from that case without talking to me, I felt—owned, in the wrong way.”
“Mia—”
I hold up a hand. “Before you respond, I need to say a little more. The way you handled pulling me from that account was wrong, but I had insecurities that probably made me handle it just as wrong. Had Becky not pressed her damn naked breasts against you that day, I would have talked it out with you. That’s what I’m doing now. I’m talking it out with you. Not running.”
“I was protecting you,” he says. “That is what the man who loves you should do.”
“If I was at risk of your father firing me to set an example, I should be making the decision about taking that risk.”
“It was more than that. I get that you were next in line, but we pulled the lead counsel because he was in bed with the mob. That’s how we ended up defending a dirty mobster we thought wasn’t dirty. You didn’t see all of the facts and when I did, I pulled a favor with the judge. I asked to have the opportunity to pull you. He made me do it on the spot. It was then or never and I didn’t want you on the feds’ or the mob’s radar. The end. That wasn’t happening. I love you too damn much for that.”
“You should have told me you were making the call. I don’t know a woman who would be upset that her man was trying to protect her. I just don’t get why you didn’t talk to me. That isn’t us. Not the us I knew.”
“I had to make a snap decision and I know you, Mia. You would’ve said you could take the heat off with the feds.”
“I could have. I’m squeaky clean. I would have if it protected you and the firm.”
“That’s what I mean. You would have tried to protect me. I would have pulled you, and the fact that I ignored your pleas would have made it worse.”
“No. It would not have because I wouldn’t have felt betrayed. Just pissed.” I step to him again and press my hand to his chest. “Don’t do that to me again because we will need a weekend and a rubber room for the war that will ensue.”
“If I ever have to make a snap decision to protect you, Mia, I’ll make it and I’d expect you to do the same in reverse.” He shackles my arm and pulls me to him. “Like you came here to protect me. That’s what we do. We protect each other. That’s what you would have tried to do.”