Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 108531 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 543(@200wpm)___ 434(@250wpm)___ 362(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108531 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 543(@200wpm)___ 434(@250wpm)___ 362(@300wpm)
“It’s about me,” Paul insisted. “I’m the one who owes money, not her.”
He wasn’t as selfish as Quaid imagined him to be. Or perhaps he truly was the changed person he claimed he was. Addicts could make different choices when they were using, choices they wouldn’t make when they had their heads on straight, when the drugs weren’t clouding their judgment.
She was almost certain that was why her mom had made sure her dad wasn’t in her life.
“But they’ll use the people you love to force you to pay them back.” He needed to understand the reality he was facing. She knew he’d been in some dicey situations, but she thought this was one he hadn’t encountered before. He’d always had someone eager to bail him out, and he wasn’t willing to fall back on his family again.
“I need more time. You said you thought the house contract was good, right?”
“Yes. I think it’s fine, but the closing date is six weeks from now,” she pointed out. “It doesn’t feel like this guy is willing to wait for six weeks. I know you’re trying to show Quaid that you can handle things on your own, but in this case, the more mature decision is to borrow the money from him and pay him back when the transfer from your house comes through.”
Paul’s head fell forward. “Then I’m the same person I’ve been for years.”
“No, you’re the person who genuinely needs help and will swallow his pride to protect the people he loves,” she gently corrected. He wanted to be persuaded, wanted this burden off his shoulders. “You’ll pay him back when your house sells, and you and I will deal with the production contracts. You’ll stay with your mom and take care of her while she recovers. You’ll sit down with me and your brother and figure out what your next moves are. What you’re trying to prove can’t be proven with a single act. It’s the day-to-day living that will show Quaid you’ve changed.”
“I thought it would be different. I thought I could come home and quietly deal with the mess I made, but it’s all spiraling out of control again. Why did I come back at all? It would have been better if I’d stayed in LA.”
“No, it wouldn’t, because you wouldn’t have your family around you. Look, Paul, you caused this problem and you have to be the one to get yourself out of it, and your best option is to make a deal with Quaid and hold up your end of the bargain. Then when you find yourself in a place where you have to make choices you aren’t sure of, you ask for advice.”
Paul sniffled, obviously trying to stay in control. “But I was sure of this investment.”
“Well, then you should always ask Quaid for a second opinion moving forward.”
“He’s not an artist.”
She practically growled Paul’s way. “Yes, he is. He’s a writer and a hell of a good one, but he hasn’t turned that into his whole identity. You have to be more than an artist. You can’t say you’re an artist so that gives you some free pass to do whatever you want. You’re also a son and a brother and a friend, and, Paul, you are also an addict. Say it.” Now her bad cop was coming out.
“I’m an addict. I will die an addict. I do not have to allow that fact to ruin my life. I have a disease and I can choose whether or not I give in to it.” He took a long breath. “Oh, I’m choosing it, aren’t I? I’m setting myself up to fail.”
He could learn. “Yes. You’ve put an enormous amount of stress on yourself, and it’s going to push you to the edge. I know you want everyone to see you as cured or something, but you’re not. You need to rebuild trust with them by showing them you are willing to put your recovery and sobriety first, way beyond your pride.”
“His name is Patrick Whedon. I’ll get you the information and the payoff amount,” Paul promised. “I’ll text him now and let him know he’ll have the full amount tomorrow.”
She breathed a deep sigh of relief as he brought his phone out. “I’m glad. This will put Quaid’s mind at ease. He wants you to be safe.”
“He wants me to be gone.” Paul’s voice shook a bit as he typed on his cell.
“You have to be patient with him.”
“I spent an enormous amount of my life making my brother uncomfortable. Shouldn’t I give him what he wants?” The sound of a text going out pinged through the car. “Shouldn’t I honor his wishes?”
“He doesn’t hate you. He’s scared of you,” she pointed out. “He’s scared for you, and he’s scared for himself at the thought of losing you. That fear comes out as anger. It usually does in men because you’re taught it’s not manly to be afraid or to have feelings that don’t involve lust or rage. Deep down he loves you but he’s afraid to feel it because if you die, he’ll have to feel that, too.”