Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 87364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Tears well in my eyes and leak down my face. I don’t bother to wipe them away as I know they’ll keep coming.
And yet, I can’t seem to make a sound. No sob comes out as I swallow it down, afraid if I lose control, I’ll scream again.
My tears wet his skin, and it prompts him to loosen his hold so he can look down at me. I can’t bear to meet his eyes.
“Sophie, what happened?”
I shake my head.
“Tell me,” he says, that bossy tone that usually amuses me but doesn’t at all right now. “Did you have a nightmare? Was it about that night? Because that’s over. Nothing’s going to hurt you now.”
I tip my head back to look at him. He sees the tears staining my cheeks, and his eyes soften with empathy.
“It wasn’t about me being hurt.” My voice is hoarse, and I wonder if I actually roughed up my vocal cords with that scream. “It was about you.”
Baden bends his head closer, his smile sympathetic. “It was just a dream.”
“No,” I snap, shaking my head. “It was a hellish nightmare. After you told me to run, I did. But then you kept calling me for help, and I wouldn’t go back. I was too scared. I ran and ran until suddenly you were there in front of me, just drenched in blood, and you told me you’d never forgive me.”
Those last words come out in gasping pants, and I finally can’t control the sob. “I left you, Baden. I could have helped. I could have prevented it all.”
Words that come out in between sobs and hiccups as I totally lose my shit.
“I’m so sorry. I was such a coward, and you almost died—”
“STOP,” Baden roars, and his voice is so loud, and well, so pissed off, I try to scramble off his lap.
His hold tightens, and he doesn’t let me go. Face awash with anger, he growls, “You have nothing to apologize for, Sophie. I get you had a nightmare, but what you dreamed is not what happened. I didn’t call you back. When I told you to run, I expected you to fucking run and not look back. Had you not run… had you gotten hurt… then my sacrifice would’ve been for nothing. You would’ve minimized it, so I’m glad it all happened the way it did.”
“But—”
“And if you ever goddamn apologize to me again, or in any way infer that you should have done something other than what I told you to do”—Baden takes my face in his hands and leans in closer to me—“then our friendship is over.”
My eyes flare and my fear of losing him tears my heart to pieces. He’s dead serious. He’s put that to rest, and he’s telling me to do the same. If I don’t, he’ll cut me out of his life.
Baden’s eyes soften, and he uses his thumbs to wipe my tears. His voice is gentle, soothing. “I can’t make the nightmares go away, Sophie. Only you can do that. You have to accept you did nothing wrong. You have to accept you are not responsible for what happened to me. Those three douchebags are, and they’re going to pay the price. Your anger needs to be directed toward them, not yourself. Do you understand that?”
Deep down, I do, but I’ve never allowed myself the grace to accept it. But Baden is asking me to do so now, so I nod. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“Then please, let this guilt go, because it’s tearing me up to know it’s tearing you up. We can’t go forward this way, and I don’t want to lose you either.”
Baden’s tone is husky, his eyes locked with mine but searching deep to ensure I’m truly hearing him.
He leans in closer and whispers, “Please let it go, Sophie. For me.”
It takes great strength, but I force my eyes away from his and glance down at his mouth. It’s so close, and I remember how my lips felt against his when I impetuously kissed him.
But he pulled away.
What exactly does going forward mean?
Baden answers that for me by closing the distance between us and touches his mouth to mine. My entire body erupts into an awakening. Nothing has ever felt so welcoming and so right.
But Baden pulled away from me earlier when I kissed him in the parking lot. Is he only kissing me now to take my mind off the nightmare?
Should I stop this?
I try to pull away, but Baden moves a hand from my face to the back of my neck, and I’m going nowhere.
He tilts his head, puts more pressure against my lips, and I huff a sigh of pure pleasure. Whether that emboldens him or he’s already emboldened enough, his tongue slips inside, and I start to drown in the best of ways.