Total pages in book: 180
Estimated words: 179189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 896(@200wpm)___ 717(@250wpm)___ 597(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 179189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 896(@200wpm)___ 717(@250wpm)___ 597(@300wpm)
Pantysniffer3000: Aww, you hurt my feelings.
Pantylicious: You can get in line with the other million dudes.
Pantysniffer3000: So angry. Do you want to chase me away? You’ll be missing out on all that $$ you definitely want
Pantylicious: What do you want? I’m already sending you my panties.
Pantysniffer3000: Relax, I don’t wanna marry you. I just want to get to know the story behind the panties.
Pantylicious: There’s not a lot to know. They’re cotton. Probably made in China. What else can I say?
She’s so damn bold. I love it.
I don’t know why, but she’s the first girl in ages that I really wanna talk to. Like, for some reason … her starting this business on her own and working her ass off makes me feel connected to her. Much more than I do with the other girls. They feel anonymous on that website. Not real. But she … she’s different. Tangible. Like she’s only a few blocks away, lying on her bed in a tank top and chatting away on her laptop while eating candy bars.
I probably just have an overactive imagination.
Pantysniffer3000: I get it. You don’t like talking about yourself. Totally not to any random stranger. I totally get it. I’m just … sorry.
I sigh. Maybe I should’ve thought this through.
Pantylicious: I understand. It’s okay. We all have this urge to talk to random people sometimes.
Pantysniffer3000: Yeah, exactly. Except you’re the girl I happen to be buying panties from. Which makes it awkward.
Pantylicious: Nothing awkward about it. I do it all the time.
Pantysniffer3000: Get a lot of customers?
Pantylicious: Sorta. Not bucket loads, but it pays for my college loans, which is nice.
Pantysniffer3000: I gotta hand it to you, that’s a smart move. Selling these through dubious sites must be challenging but worth the effort. I wish I’d thought up something that smart when I graduated college.
Pantylicious: What do you do then?
Pantysniffer3000: Interested in me now, huh?
Pantylicious: You pried into my life, so now I get to pry into yours. Spill.
Pantysniffer3000: Fine. I’ve got a standard douchebag haircut, cheesy grin, and I’m a corporate asshole. That’s what others call my job anyway. I also like big butts, and I cannot lie. Satisfied?
Pantylicious: Funny. I like that.
Pantysniffer3000: Is this the part where I ask you out on a date?
Pantylicious: Keep dreaming.
Pantysniffer3000: It was worth a try.
Is it wrong that I’m sitting here with a big-ass smile on my face? Maybe. But I don’t care. I wanna know more about this girl. Why she’s venturing out on her own. Why she chose to do this instead of some other regular job, like, I don’t know … being a waitress. She’s different. She has a “take no shit” attitude and gets to the point. Something I admire.
Pantylicious: A corporate asshole looking to date the girl who sells him panties. Interesting story.
Pantysniffer3000: You’re not the first to think that.
Pantylicious: Oh, really? Tell me more.
Pantysniffer3000: Maybe some other time. The truth is, I’m much more interested in why you decided selling panties was the way to go when it came to making money.
Pantylicious: I’m not the waitress type. Besides, this is like having a company.
Pantysniffer3000: So you want your own company someday?
Pantylicious: Maybe. I like the idea of being my own boss.
Pantysniffer3000: Have to agree with that. But you gotta be cut out for it. Being the boss might sound like fun, but it’s a lot of responsibility.
Pantylicious: Hey, if you’re not happy with your job, then I’ll gladly take it.
I laugh. Maybe I should take her up on the offer. It would take some much-needed work off my shoulders. Then again … she’s inexperienced. But I still can’t help but play along.
Pantysniffer3000: You think you can handle this job? I’d like to see you try.
Pantylicious: Don’t underestimate me. You don’t know me.
Pantysniffer3000: Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to.
Pantylicious: I’m a marketing major. I know how to handle a business.
Pantysniffer3000: Oh … interesting. So you’re planning to start working for a bigger company soon? I imagine selling panties isn’t your end goal.
Pantylicious: Damn right, it isn’t. This is just a step-up. All I need is to get an internship to get the hang of it, and then I’m starting my own legit business.
Pantysniffer3000: Internship? Nice. Already applied for a spot?
Pantylicious: I’m trying, but there’s some dude who won’t stop talking to me on Twitter.
Pantysniffer3000: Ha-ha, good one.
Pantylicious: Laugh all you want, but one day, everyone will be jealous of my company. You just wait. Who knows, maybe we’ll meet at some corporate party. You’ll never know it was me.
Pantysniffer3000: Maybe I can smell it’s you.
Pantylicious: Awkward. Like that would ever happen.
Pantysniffer3000: Wanna bet?
Pantylicious: Ha, sure. Good luck. There are billions of people on the planet.
Pantysniffer3000: But only one of them has your email.
Pantylicious: This is about smelling lady bits. Not emails.
Pantysniffer3000: Oh, I know.
She doesn’t realize it yet, but the moment she accepted my bet, it was game on for me. I like a challenge.