Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 76710 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76710 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
So, there I was, all geared up to walk away and play it straight, but instead, I got stuck paying her debt. Guys like Julian don’t fuck around. Not fighting meant signing her death warrant.
I was a fucking fool to think Crystal would’ve ever let me live a normal life. I was an even bigger fool to think I could be good enough for Allie.
“I’m not good.” I’ve tried. No matter what I do—no matter how hard I try—the end result is the same.
“Jess,” Allie says, her eyes starting to fill with tears. “I’m not judging you. How could you think I’d judge you after everything?”
“I’m not good for you,” I say, “and if you stay with me, I’ll only ruin you, too.”
“How can you say that? Don’t I get a say?”
“Stop!”
She flinches at my tone, and I hate that I’m responsible for the hurt on her face.
“I’m not going to change who I am, Allie,” I say, my voice resigned. I can’t.
“Who asked you to?” Her lip trembles and a tear rolls down her cheek. A knock on the door makes her jump, and a second later, Halston and Sullivan are stepping inside. I texted Sully the address and told him to take Allie back to River’s Edge.
Halston tries to pull Allie in for a hug, but she shakes her head, stopping her.
“I won’t beg you to be with me,” Allie says through clenched teeth. “If I walk out that door, we’re done.”
Three sets of accusing eyes are trained on me. Sully looks disappointed. Halston looks livid. And Allie looks…broken.
“Go home, Allison.”
* * *
THE NEXT FEW DAYS ARE a blur. I walk around in a daze, alternating between wanting to cry and wanting to hit something. How does someone go from, “Be with me, Allie,” to breaking it off in a matter of days? I haven’t heard from Jess since he told me to leave. Honestly, I’m glad he hasn’t come back. Sleeping in his bed, surrounded by his scent, his belongings, his family is bad enough. Staying under the same roof is not an option.
When Halston and I got back to Lo’s house, she knew something was up. My eyes were bloodshot, and my heart was broken. She asked where Jess was and I was conflicted, not knowing how much I should divulge, but Halston had no such qualms about telling her every detail from where we found him to where he was staying.
Halston stayed with me that night and has been glued to my side since, as if she’s waiting for me to lose my shit. Even Dylan seems worried, watching me like a ticking timebomb that’s seconds from exploding. But I’m fine. This was just fun. We always knew this thing had an expiration date.
File that under lies I tell myself.
* * *
A KNOCK ON THE DOOR has Crystal peeling her ass off the couch to open it. The second she turns the knob, the door flies open, revealing Lo, who’s clearly on a rampage if the look on her face is anything to go by. Thanks a lot, Allie.
“You,” she says, pointing her finger in Crystal’s face. “I should have known you were at the root of all of this.”
“It’s nice to see you too, Logan.” Crystal says, making her way back over to the couch, plopping down beside me before reaching for the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table and lighting one up.
Lo huffs out a bitter laugh, eyeing the both of us. “Two peas in a fuckin’ pod.”
I grit my jaw, leaning back into the couch as I take a swig from the bottle of Jack in my hand.
“So, what? This is what you threw your future away for? So you could sit around and get drunk with Crystal?” Lo paces the floor in front of us. “Well, shit, Jess! We didn’t even have to leave Oakland for that. And you,” she says, directing her attention back to Crystal, “I know you’re not exactly known for your virtue, but do you not have an iota of maternal instincts? Are you so pathetic and selfish that you’re willing to ruin your son’s life for your own gain?”
“He loves his mother,” Crystal yells, standing. “Nothing wrong with that. Unlike your ungrateful ass.”
“Shut the fuck up, Crystal. I feel responsible for you, but I don’t love you. There’s a difference.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lo asks, hurt flashing in her eyes.
I shrug. “You paid your dues.”
Her expression softens, and she tilts her head to the side. “It’s not too late, Jess. Come home. Right now. Let’s get in the car and go. Whatever it is, we can fix this.”
Lo’s eyes bore into me, pleading. I take another swig, averting my eyes. I want to. I want to go beg Allie to take me back and forget everything I said. But I’ve fucked everything up so badly, I can’t see a way out.