Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79607 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79607 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
I know I said I’d let her go—that it was for her own good—but I’m too selfish to stay away. Family isn’t just about who shares your blood. It’s about who bleeds for you. Needs you. And I’m fucking done allowing anything else to matter. Not her parents or even Dash. Not our age difference. Not the fact that she’s the epitome of everything good in this world and that I’m constantly walking the line between right and wrong. This is right. We are right. Fuck everything else.
I place the succulent back down onto my parents’ headstone and stand, filled with purpose for the first time in, well, ever. I need to find Briar.
The minute I see Dash’s truck in the drive, I know I’m going to have to prove myself to two people, instead of one. Mentally preparing myself for the fight, I take a deep breath and raise my fist to knock on the door.
“Is this a fucking joke right now?” Dash says upon opening the door. He glances behind him briefly before slipping out the front door and closing it behind him. “The fuck do you want, man?”
“I need to see her.”
Dash huffs and turns his back on me.
“Wait,” I say as his hand grasps the lever. He pauses. “I know I fucked up, but give me the chance to make it right with her.”
It’s awkward, talking to him like this. About his sister, no less. But Briar has a way of kicking my pride to the back seat. Dash turns around, and the eyes that match Briar’s are filled with contempt.
“There is no making it right,” he says through gritted teeth. “You betrayed our friendship. You took advantage of her, and then you left her when she needed you. There’s nothing else to say.”
“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” I say, trying to rein in my temper. I’m doing my best to play nice. I know I’m in the wrong here, but he doesn’t know what Briar and I have. He doesn’t know how deep my feelings for her run. He doesn’t know that it’s always been her. I just need a chance to fix it.
“If you care about her, let her go. Stop dicking her around. She’s having a hard enough time as it is.”
“Is she okay?” I ask, immediately concerned.
“Just let her go,” he says, shaking his head and stepping inside.
And then I’m left staring at the closed door. But I can’t let her go. I don’t know how.
Chapter 19
Briar
I power off my phone and toss it into the drawer of my nightstand. Asher has texted and called more times than I can count. I can’t bring myself to read the messages. It’s hard enough to stay away. I’m afraid I’ll cave after a few carefully plucked words, and then I’ll be in the same position once more, a couple of months down the line. Empty. Lost. Broken.
It took every ounce of strength I had not to at least hear Asher out when he came to my door yesterday. Everything inside me was screaming to love him and nurture him and just be there for him. To see how he was coping after his loss. But it’s all so convoluted now, and some addictions can only be overcome by quitting cold turkey. The withdrawals won’t last forever; you just have to be strong enough to survive them.
When Dash came back inside, he tiptoed around me, like I was some fragile creature, waiting to see if I was aware of Asher’s presence. I didn’t say a word. I let him think I was oblivious. What difference does it make, anyway?
“You good?” Natalia asks, zipping my suitcase. Natalia’s mom offered me a job at her boutique, and Nat just signed a lease on a condo and extended me an open invitation to stay for a week or forever—her words, not mine. I decided to take her up on it and get out of Dodge for a while.
Standing up to my parents and informing them of my plans to take a year off seemed like nothing in comparison to recent revelations. Mom took the news pretty well. I still haven’t spoken to my father, but I know he’s unhappy with the news, if the voicemails he left on my phone are anything to go by. Dashiell’s at least working on a degree from somewhere, even if it’s not Dad’s school of choice. Not going straight to college at all is unacceptable in his eyes. The pressure and weight of indecision and uncertainty were lifted, only to be replaced by the crushing weight of Asher’s absence.
“Yep,” I say, forcing a smile, but she sees through it, giving me a sad one in return.
“You’re not curious about what he had to say?” Nat asks skeptically, with a nod of her chin toward the drawer.