Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Val was right. Not only about Shayla, but about how hard she’d worked at trying to get me to hear her back then.
I fought it. I fought it so much, we fought. In the end, that was all we ever did.
“You did a lot for me,” I said, not wanting her to feel ashamed or disappointed in herself. “Gave me the best two gifts sleepin’ in that room, and I’ll have love for you forever ’cause of that.”
She smiled softly.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t get me there,” I added.
“At least someone did. How, is the question.”
“She’s stubborn,” I said. “She never would’ve let me ignore her.”
“You’re stubborn.”
“Not like her.” I laughed. “She stands up to me. All five foot nothin’ of her, she won’t back down.”
“Good.” Val grinned.
“I love her.”
I waited for Val to lose the smile, for it to fade, but she held it.
“The girls really like her,” she said. “I really like her. And I like her for you. She did what I couldn’t, and that’s why you belong with her and not me.”
I stared at Val for a breath, thinking about Shayla standing in my room, cutting me loose then leaving me. I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed at my face.
“What?” Val asked.
Elbows resting on my knees, I looked at her. “Shayla told me to come here,” I shared. “She pushed for it, said she couldn’t give me this and wanted me to have it.”
Lips parted, Val slowly closed her eyes and made a face like she was in pain. “Oh, my God, Sean.” She caught her head with her hand when it dropped to the side, her arm bent and braced on the chair. “I told her the other day that I still loved you and wanted to try and get back together, and she supported me. She had tears in her eyes, but she told me I should go for it. I even told her I was going to invite you to come along with us this weekend, and she said it was a good idea.” Val sat up straight and grimaced. “I am an idiot. I can’t believe I didn’t see why she was really crying.”
I stared at Val, thinking on everything she’d just shared.
She had seen Shayla on Tuesday, right before I saw Val. Shayla left me on Tuesday.
“That girl cares about you so much, she gave you up so you could get us back, and I sat there like a moron and watched her cry over you, believing she was just having PMS. What is wrong with me?”
I shook my head, because yeah, Shayla was the type of person to do something like that, considering everything else she’s done for me, but this shit still didn’t make sense.
“She told me she’d never leave,” I shared. “Fuckin’ promised me, Val. I said I loved her, and she walked.”
Val scooted forward in her chair and stared into my face. “She walked because she loves you.”
I looked away. I didn’t believe that.
“Love is sacrifice, Sean,” Val continued. “It’s putting your own happiness second. When you really care about someone, you do what is best for that person before you even think about yourself. You will suffer for love. If it’s true, you’ll do anything for it.”
Her words rang out in my ears. I cracked my knuckles. Fuck, was she right?
“You think she did this shit for me?” I asked Val. “Her leaving, that was so I’d come here?”
“Did she look happy about it?”
“No.”
“Did she look even remotely okay with walking away from you? Or pissed at you for something, which might explain her breaking it off?”
My teeth ground together. “She was cryin’,” I mumbled, picturing Shayla standing in my room and then leaving it, the tears still in her eyes. “Kept sayin’ she was sorry, but that sorry wasn’t ’cause she was leavin’, was it?”
Val cocked her head. “Now you’re getting it.”
My chest shuddered with a breath. “Fuck,” I growled, pissed at myself.
I sat on that beach thinking about what my life would be like going back to Val. But I didn’t just think about it. I considered it, knowing what I’d be sacrificing if I made that choice.
Or who I’d be sacrificing.
And Shayla had been doing the exact same fucking thing. Only difference was, she went through with it. She gave up her happiness for me.
And I hadn’t seen it.
“You were hurt and angry, Sean,” Val said, touching my arm. Her eyes were kind. “Anyone would’ve reacted the way you did and thought the same thing.”
“No, I know her,” I argued. “I fuckin’ know her. I should’ve seen what she was doin’. I should’ve stopped it. She left—I let her leave. That’s on me.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just fix the damn thing.”
My brow furrowed. “I fuckin’ am. Jesus, you think I wouldn’t?”
Val sat back and giggled.