Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
“Hey.” I grinned and moved to step back, but Sean reached out and took my face between his hands, backing me inside himself. He blindly kicked the door closed and pressed a kiss to my mouth, barely giving any tongue but giving enough that I felt that kiss all the way from top to toes.
“Mm,” I hummed when we were finished and swayed a little. Probably didn’t even need the Red Bull. I was wide awake now.
Sean stared at my lips and tugged at my bottom one with his thumb. “You look really fuckin’ pretty,” he said.
I swayed a little more.
Damn. Sean giving compliments—major kryptonite.
“You do this a lot?”
I quirked a brow, but going off the way he was concentrating on exactly one part of my face, I took a guess. “Wear lipstick? Yeah, but not always this dark.”
“You should. Jesus.” His eyes came up and I saw how heated they were. “I like this. Like the other shit too, but I like this.”
I grinned. “Well, excuse me while I go throw out every other color I own. Won’t be needing them anymore.”
He stared at me, his eyes going intense but only holding that emotion for a breath before he lowered them, dropped his hands, and stepped back.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I gotta tell you shit, and I don’t know how you’re gonna react,” he began, and I held my breath because I knew, oh, God, I knew, he was talking about the stuff he was never planning on telling me.
But now he was here, ready to share it all with me, and even though I wanted to know everything about this man, even the dirty stuff he was ashamed of, I worried he wasn’t ready.
I stepped closer. “Sean, you don’t need to tell me—”
“Yeah, I do,” he cut me off. “You’re tossing out every color except the one I want, you need to know it.” He looked up at me then. He was breathing heavily through his nose. “I decided earlier I was gonna tell you. Worried about it the whole way here. Saw you, kissed you, forgot what the fuck I was doin’ here ’cause kissin’ you makes me forget shit, especially shit that’s weighin’ heavy on my mind. Then you say you’re only gonna wear that color on your mouth ’cause I want it and hearin’ that, feelin’ that, I’m rememberin’ why I’m here. I gotta tell you this. I want you knowin’ it and I don’t. I’m scared how you’ll look at me after. I like how you look at me now, I don’t wanna lose that.”
Okay. Wow.
Okay, okay, okay.
That. Was. HUGE.
“Uh.” I wet my lips. I was breathing heavily now too. “Can I just say firstly, that was probably the greatest compliment of my life. I’m glad you like the way I look at you and that kissing me takes you out of that dark place. That’s all I could hope for. I want you surrounded in nothing but light, Sean. I want that more than anything. You deserve it.”
He shook his head and cursed. “Now I really gotta fuckin’ tell you,” he growled, then he turned away and stalked over to the couch, taking a seat on one end. He braced his elbows on his knees. His legs were bouncing.
God, he was really worried about this. About how I’d react.
I sat down beside him and placed my hand on his thigh. “I won’t leave,” I said quietly.
Sean froze. He was staring straight ahead at a spot on the carpet.
“I won’t,” I repeated, just as softly.
His head slowly turned, and our eyes met. “I told you not to go diggin’ around about that cunt, yeah?”
I nodded. “Yes, and even though I wanted to, I didn’t. I busied myself with other things today we’ll get to in a minute.”
Sean blinked. “What other things?”
“You first.”
“They gotta do with me?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Then share.”
“I will after you, since I’m still going to be sitting here and looking at you the way I always look at you. Nothing you could ever say to me would stop me from doing that.”
Sean narrowed his eyes, then muttered a “fuck,” before he resumed staring off blankly at the carpet. His hands were clasped in front of him.
I kept my hand on his bouncing thigh exactly how it had been. I didn’t brace with light pressure. I did not move. I wouldn’t.
React on the inside. Do not show it.
Sean blew out a breath. “A lot of the shit I’ve done—I regret,” he began. “Most of it. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. This…this I do not wish I could take back. I don’t regret it.”
“Okay.”
He turned to look at me. “Last time I saw that bitch, she was dying. I’m talkin’ minutes away from takin’ her last breath, and I didn’t do shit to keep her alive. I didn’t do a damn thing. I killed her.”