Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 61542 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61542 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
“So, you managed to minimize the damage from a problem you created yourself. Should I be congratulating you now?”
“I tried, Katie,” he says.
“How was it even possible for the car to slide backward? Didn’t you make sure it was properly parked?”
“I, uh, I checked on his car seat before stepping out. I thought I was just going to be a few seconds.”
I stare at him. I can’t believe this.
I’m trying to give him time to learn to be a dad for William, but what if that’s a mistake?
What if I’m putting William in danger because of that one decision? What if I’ve been letting too many things slide?
“Maybe you’re just not cut out for this,” I say in a small voice.
“What are you saying?” Adam asks softly.
“I’m saying it’s great that you’re trying, but it’s not good enough.” I pause. “Look, you took William out for half an hour, and you got him into a car accident. How long is it going to be until you leave him alone in a hot car, or roll up the car window on his neck?”
“Katie, I’m really sorry it happened. It was my fault,” he says. “But this isn’t quite the same as those freak accidents, is it?”
“It is the same.” In a louder voice, I repeat, “It is the same. You know why? Because those people didn’t mean any harm to those kids either. They were just accidents, just like the one you just caused today.
“You know how I know? Because I’ve seen victims of freak accidents. You think it’s not going to happen to you? Well, those people did, too—until it actually happened to them.”
Adam, to his credit, falls silent. When he finally speaks, he sounds remorseful. “I’m so sorry, Katie. You’re right.”
Normally, I’d give him another chance because he really does mean well. But maybe the reason he’s screwing up is because I keep letting him try and try again.
“I want you to leave,” I say, my voice small. But as soon as the words are out there, I realize it’s the right decision. It’s the right decision for William. So once again, I tell Adam, “I want you to leave.”
“I’m sorry, Katie. I’ll leave if you really want me to.” Adam gazes at me and pauses, as if he expects me to change my mind. When I say nothing, he sighs. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Adam.” I give him a serious look. “I mean . . . I don’t want you to come back.”
He’s stunned into silence. “You’re . . . You want me to leave and never come back again? Just because of an accident?”
“See, the way you say it’s ‘just’ an accident makes me think you’re not taking this seriously,” I say. “I can’t help but worry when I think about what kind of disaster’s going to happen next.”
“Look, just . . . I don’t know. Don’t leave me alone with William. I’m okay with that,” he bargains.
“I’m sorry, Adam. I know you mean well. You did the right thing, trying to forge a relationship with William.” I give voice to the doubts that have been quietly simmering inside me. “Let’s face it. You never thought William was going to be part of the package. When you asked Sawyer to find me, you had no idea I had William, too.”
Adam knits his dark eyebrows. Soft lines appear on his forehead. “If I told you I knew about William beforehand, that would be a lie. But I was happy when I found out about him. Are you kidding me? He’s the best thing in the world,” he says.
While I agree with Adam’s assessment of how William ranks on the list of everything in the world, I don’t know if I believe him.
If William were so important to him, he would’ve remembered. He would’ve paid more attention. He would’ve watched William like a hawk.
But he didn’t, did he?
Despite what Adam says, and no matter how much I want to believe him, there lies my answer.
“Adam,” I say through the lump in my throat. “I thought I could do this, but I can’t. You did the noble thing, and you tried to be there for William, but I think it’s time to admit to ourselves that it’s not working.”
“What do you mean it’s not working?” Adam stalks toward me and grabs me by the shoulders. “Katie, we just had a little accident. That’s all. It doesn’t have to turn into a whole thing.”
He doesn’t get it.
The more he tries to downplay the accident, the less I can trust him.
“I’m not spending time with William just so I can get to you.” Adam stares into my eyes with bewilderment, like he still can’t believe what’s happening. He asks, “If that was the case, why did I threaten to sue you for my right to see William?”