Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 61868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 309(@200wpm)___ 247(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 309(@200wpm)___ 247(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
I stumble onto my shaky legs and reach for my clothes that cover the floor.
“Is that a c-section scar?” he asks abruptly.
“What?”
He draws a line across his abdomen with his hand. “Where’s the baby?” My stomach lurches as he grins. “You gave it away? Typical deadbeat mom.”
I choke on a sob, my heart splitting open at the horror of his words. I run from the room, shaking from my tears, trailing my hand over the walls until I find the door to my room in the darkness.
8
SKYE
LOOKING BACK
It takes me more than an hour to calm down. At first, I huddled under the warm blanket, my body trembling at what happened. Jack’s terrible words sliced open my already broken heart. Deadbeat mom. Is that what he thinks I am?
My body feels worn out and used, and between my legs, I’m sore but still vibrating with shame-filled arousal. Jack might be angry and spiteful, but he knows how to extract pleasure from my body in a way I can’t even pretend to understand. I press my fingers to my lips, recalling how he kissed me gently. My wrists throb where he kissed them, too. In his arms, I felt totally safe until I didn’t.
It was the same with Carter, I remind myself. He knew how to make me fall, and once I trusted him and let him into my heart, he started working to destroy me. I can’t let Jack do the same thing. I have to get better at shutting myself away. He can touch my body and use it for twisted reasons. He can extract all the violent pleasure from me that he wants, but I won’t let him near my soul.
The power comes back on at some point and my room floods with light. I rise to put on my pajamas and find my phone. When I left Carter, I traded in my phone for a new one with a burner number so it couldn’t be traced. My family disowned me, and my friends all fell away after Carter began to restrict my movements. There are no messages to check. No one in the world cares about me or knows where I am.
Instead, I flick through the news, wanting to feel connected to the outside world, even just a little. The local news site is filled with stories of corruption and violence, peppered with stupid feel-good stories like a picture of a cat who won a competition. I sigh, finding nothing to hold my attention until Carter’s smiling face flicks up on my screen.
My breath catches in my lungs, my heart squeezing in one big thud that feels like it will be its last. ‘Local businessman awarded new contract,’ is the headline. I read through the article, finding out that Carter won a big contract to provide low-cost housing. He’s been trying to get into construction for years, and I guess he’s finally greased the right wheel. There’s no way he has the expertise to run a company that builds housing. He’ll throw them up in the cheapest way possible, and any inspectors will be bought off. It’s how Carter always operates, leaving a sea of disaster in his wake. The poor people who will have to live in the resulting conditions are going to face unending problems.
But the figure quoted for the value of the contract is what sets the hairs rising on the back of my neck. A richer Carter is a more dangerous Carter. It will give him even more power over Hallie, and indirectly over me.
The money I’ve made from this year-long contract won’t be enough when I’m fighting against a man with politicians in his pockets. This is a disaster. Hopelessness swamps me.
I sob quietly into my hand, conscious that I could wake any of the three men in the rooms around mine. If I wake them, they might want sex, and I can’t face more, even if they are rugged and good-looking, and they make it feel good when it shouldn’t.
Hallie is out there somewhere, and not knowing where for sure is driving me crazy. I can’t focus. I haven’t eaten properly in weeks. The bones on my hips are now more prominent than they were when I first met Carter before Hallie made me plump.
Shona’s face pops into my mind. We weren’t friends. No one who worked for Carter would commit to anything other than passing communication with me. Even though I was often surrounded by people, he succeeded in isolating me. But I used to catch Shona looking at me with pity in her dark eyes. She would make me my favorite cocktail at the bar without me having to ask. Sometimes, she’d rest her hand on my arm if Carter was raging about something, and she’d witnessed me flinch. When Hallie was born, she gave her a sweet yellow rabbit and a rattle wrapped up in a pink tissue paper and ribbon bundle. Beneath was a box of chocolates for me, my favorites.