Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 50872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 170(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 170(@300wpm)
It feels like it lasts forever, but eventually, the feeling starts to abate, and I’m panting as Austin climbs up my body. His forehead is creased, and he’s running his hand along my belly. “You feel okay? How’s the baby?”
I blink up at him, almost incoherently. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine… she’s fine.”
But he doesn’t seem to believe me. “No pains, no twinges… maybe I should check your blood pressure.”
He’s about to push off the bed when I grab his hand. “Trust me, you don’t want to check my blood pressure right now.”
He frowns. “Ally, honey, we need…”
I shake my head and pull him down to me. “I need to cuddle.” I reach for him, and for the first time, I put my hand between his legs and cup him through his underwear. I wrap my hand around his girth, sort of taken back by the impressive length. “And I think you might need…”
His hips push into my hand, he groans, and then he wraps his hand around my wrist. “Fuck, Ally, you touch me and I’m going to come.”
I can’t help but laugh. His voice is strained, and his body is coiled tightly. “I think that’s the whole point.”
He leans his head against my chest and takes a few deep breaths. I can sense the internal struggle with him, and I’m not sure what to say to let him know it’s okay. That I want to do this for him. I feather my hand through his hair. “Austin, let me… I want to.”
He shakes his head. “No, honey.”
I rear back, surprised. None of this makes sense. “If you don’t want me to touch you, you just have to say so.”
I try to push him off me, but he doesn’t budge. He lifts his face to mine and kisses me. I try to hold back, but his lips hold me captive, and it’s not long until I get lost in the feeling of him against me. His body is pressed to mine, but he’s holding his weight off me. I feel him everywhere, and my clit is practically vibrating from the aftereffects of the orgasm he just gave me. When he finally pulls away, he holds my chin so I have no choice but to look at him. “That’s all I want, Ally, to have your hands on me. But I’m not coming until I get to come inside you.”
What? How is that even possible? “But that could be weeks… months…”
His lips lift in a soft smile. “Trust me. After all these years, a few months won’t kill me. Especially since you’ve given me permission to kiss you anytime I want. I’ll have your mouth… and your pussy to tide me over until your body is ready to take me.”
Unease fills me. Not because of what he’s saying. I want him that way more than anything, but I also know that this can’t be real, or at least, I can’t believe it’s real. Not yet.
I stutter out the words because I don’t want to tell him everything I’m thinking right now. “It doesn’t seem very fair to you. So I get orgasms and you get… nothing?”
He chuckles, and his chest vibrates against mine. “Trust me, baby. When you come undone because of what I’m doing to you… I get a lot. What we’re doing feels good, and even though I know what this is, I’m willing to wait and let you catch up. But eventually, we’re going to have to talk this out, and you’re going to have to think about the future with me as your husband and the father of your daughter.”
My heart sinks. Mostly because what he’s saying is everything I would want, but I’m too scared to let myself believe it’s possible. “You’re right… eventually, we’re going to talk about this, but I know you have to go into work today.”
He levels me with a look. I feel bad because it’s like I’m pushing him out the door, but the truth is, I am. I can’t deal with this right now. He opens his mouth to say something but stops and shakes his head. “You’re right. I do need to get to work.”
I nod, but he doesn’t move. “So if I leave for a few hours, can I trust you to stay in bed?”
“I already told you that I would. Plus, you have your little spies coming over.”
He grins. “They’re not spies. You like Elle, and eventually they’re going to be your family.”
I hold my hand up. ‘Okay, okay. Yes, I’ll stay in bed.”
It’s obvious he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. “Okay, I’m going to shower.”
I put my hands flat on the bed so he can go, but he doesn’t move. Instead, he leans in and kisses me again. I’m discovering that any kiss with Austin is not just a kiss. Every time it’s been an earth-shattering, soul-searching, body-shaking experience. My hands grip the sheets, fighting with myself to not hold him to me. Eventually he’s going to realize I’m not what he wants, and when that time comes, I need to be ready for it.