Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 103819 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103819 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
"Baby, I'm not hungry. I told you I wasn't hungry," he said, not bothering to move from his seat.
"Daddy, you're losing too much weight. You have to try to eat," she reprimanded, then disappeared back inside. Kane went back to biting at his thumbnail, watching the birds play at one of the birdfeeders in the yard.
"Daddy, you have to eat more. Your refrigerator's completely full of food. None of the dinners being sent over here are being touched, so that means you aren't eating. You're going to make yourself sick. Here's your favorite. Potato soup and a Havarti with turkey sandwich. Come eat," she said, placing a tray on the patio table close to him. Her eyes now pleaded with him to move to the table. She was right. He needed to eat more. He needed to do a lot of things more, but what he really wanted was for her to go, so he could make his daily trip to Avery's gravesite and then tuck himself away for the night with Avery's latest note. It had been eight weeks since Avery death, and he had seven bouquets and two handwritten notes from Avery. God, he missed that man more than he could bear. Tears sprang to his eyes.
For nothing more than to hide them, he rose and made his way across the patio to the table and focused on the food. His stomach turned at the sight, making him feel weak, but he hid that too. Instead, he reached for the water bottle on the tray. "Thank you, honey."
"You're welcome." She kissed his cheek as he swallowed the water. "Please eat it all. I talked to your pastor this morning. He says he hasn't seen you in church since Dad died. He's tried to come over, but you aren't home, or you're not answering the door." Kane didn't respond as he reached for the mustard, spreading it across the bread. Everything she said was true, so there was no point in denying it. Under her close inspection, he held his stomach and took a bite of the soup.
"Thank you, Daddy," she said, kneeling beside him and kissing his cheek again as he forced the warm soup down. Autumn could be blunt and straightforward one second, tender and sweet the next. She was so much like Avery in that way. The thought touched his heart and brought a beloved memory forward.
"I remember when your dad and I found out we were going to be parents. Avery was so sure we were having a little girl he started a betting pool with the physician's staff. Everyone had their money on us having a boy, but not your dad. 'His little princess', that's how he referred to you from the very beginning. Of course Avery had been right, but so had everyone else; none of that mattered to your dad. You should have seen him gloating in the doctor's office that day. Your dad always did like being right, probably about as much as he loved getting his way."
Kane smiled as he recalled the joy in his heart, and the triumphant gleam on Avery's face, the day their doctor announced they were going to be parents of not only a boy, but also a baby girl. Kane softly brushed a loose strand of blonde hair from Autumn's forehead. "I hope you know how proud I am of you, how proud you made us as parents and what joy it's given me to watch you grow into a remarkable woman. I couldn't have asked for anything more. You and your brother are such blessings. You helped make my life complete. I love you, Autumn." Kane spoke slowly, trying to calm his quivering voice and give his words meaning as he reached out and took her hand.
"Daddy, I love you, too, but I need you to start taking better care of yourself. You don't look good." Autumn's eyes stayed trained on his as she spoke. He saw her concern, and the pain he caused her, but he didn't know how to reassure her everything would be okay.
"I need to call Robert. I'll be back." She stood abruptly and left him sitting there while she walked down off the back porch and sat on the bottom step. He sat quietly, staring down at the food, thinking about how many times he and Avery had eaten their lunch in this very spot. This was their favorite time of year. The flowers were just beginning to bloom and Avery had made sure their backyard was packed with every type of flower he could find.
The strategically placed bird feeders kept their backyard buzzing with hummingbirds, blue jays, and cardinals all springtime long. How could someplace that had given him such peace just months ago cause him so much pain now? The tears he'd been fighting sprang free, and he lowered his head to his hands, scrubbing his face, angry he wasn't able to pull himself together better than this.
"Robert, he's not good. You're not listening to me. He needs help. I don't think it's a good idea he stay here. He has to have lost another five pounds just since you've been here," Autumn said, her conversation filtering over to him.
He apparently hadn't hidden his emotions or himself as well as he'd hoped. This wasn't good. Kane pushed back in the chair and picked up the tray to take it into the kitchen. He had no desire to stick around and hear anything else she had to say about how bad he looked or how little he was participating in life. He'd been subjected to that same refrain for weeks now. Instead, he placed the tray on the counter, and took the keys to Avery's car off the key rack by the back door. He left Autumn there at his house without a second thought and drove straight to Avery's grave.
The bench he'd had installed waited for him, just like every day. He spent the next six hours there, talking to Avery, telling him all his thoughts until the darkness of night forced him away.