Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 81279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“No, it’s not about that. If it’s happening, then with my participation, but the question is if it’s happening at all. I’m… confused. What if he really changed? What if it was drugs that affected him to the point that he did… what he did?” I swallow with my stomach aching at the memory of Galanis’s bloodshot eyes, and him yelling at my father about money that wasn’t there.
Just reaching back to those memories makes my heart beat faster, and I hug myself, trembling in the face of a decision I might not be fit to make. Do I really have the right to sentence a man to death? Galanis might be single, but his congregation clearly loves him, and he would be orphaning them all.
Saint leans in, staring into my face with a deep frown. “We agreed that I’d kill them all until the twenty-fifth.”
I try to swallow, but it feels impossible when my throat’s so tight. “And what? I can’t take it back? Like it’s some deal with the devil?” It’s not him I should be angry at, but I hate feeling trapped between my dark desires and the scraps of morality still left in me.
Saint exhales in exasperation, letting go of my hand. He crosses his arms over his chest. “We technically don’t have a contract, but I treat it as a gentlemanly agreement. I can dispatch him, so if you don’t want me to, it will not affect the end result come Christmas.”
Because now that he put his claws in me, he won’t let go. And I won’t lie, I’ve been enjoying his love bites more than I should.
“I don’t know, okay? Am I a bad person to still want him dead? After everything we’ve seen out there? This man changed.”
“Did he though?” Saint asks, resting his elbow on the side of my chair and piercing me with his gaze as if he wants to drill straight to my soul. “He might no longer be a criminal, but did you hear from him at all since he and his buddies invaded your family home? Did he try to get in touch? Did he go to the police, confess, or atone for his actions? Did he help you when you were struggling? Whatever change he’s made, he made it for himself and his own comfort.”
Saint’s words are like a punch, and I clench my teeth so hard they ache.
I have to take a deep breath before I speak. “No, you’re right. He’s out here just living his life as if nothing happened. Maybe even treating the crime against me as his stepping stone to salvation.”
The warmth of Saint’s hand soothes the tension in my back, and while I know his actions are entirely self-serving, I can’t deny that I needed this pep talk.
“Most people will excuse their actions, because we all need to feel like we’re the good guys. That’s why, for a moment, you hesitated. That’s why I only kill for people who want revenge, even if petty, and that is why our friend Patrick found God.”
“How do you excuse pulling me into this? Or does it need no excuse because I want revenge?” I watch him with goosebumps on my forearms, even though my decision about Galanis’s fate feels sealed.
“Pulling you in?” Saint mutters, facing me. “You were the one who wrote down that you wanted those men dead. I didn’t push it on you.”
Only we both know I would have never taken the step of attempting to kill anyone if he hadn’t appeared in my life. Maybe I would have led an existence full of self-loathing and fear, but my conscience would have remained clear. And even if I stopped all this now, one of the men I mentioned in the letter is dead because of me.
I feel no remorse about that, which says something about me, I suppose.
“You didn’t ask for money though. You gave me a devil’s deal.” I don’t even know why I’m prodding him like this. Maybe I’m nervous. Maybe I’m frightened of a future that’s coming at me all too fast.
Whenever I’m with him, there’s a strange mixture of danger and safety in the air. But deep down, I know he chose me, stalked me, seduced me, and sealed the deal by playing on my vulnerabilities. He will make me his by taking my soul and turning me into a killer.
Which I shouldn’t find hot. But I do. Because he wants me like no one else.
“I don’t need your money,” Saint says as his gaze scorches me, leaving no doubts about his intentions. If he could have his way, he’d have me blow him right here, while we wait for Galanis.
And the worst thing is that thinking about him exercising such power over me is making me throb with heat. He didn’t even put that idea in my head. I’m the one who came up with it because I’m horny and fucked up. He’s the answer to my secret prayers.