Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94106 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94106 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
“Are you planning on something happening that we need privacy for?” I bumped my shoulder to his.
“It’s our last night together. I’m planning on something happening at least three times.”
He’d been teasing, but hearing him say it was our last night together made me feel anxious. My fears all came rushing back. What if he’d changed his mind? He’d been so persistent up until recently. Had he decided a summer fling was all he wanted? My nerves got the best of me as we walked, and I grew quiet.
When we arrived at the tall section of the dunes, Ford stopped, brushed some sticks out of the way, and spread out the blanket. He uncorked the wine, poured two glasses, and we sat side by side, facing the ocean.
It was such a serene night. The water washed against the shore fifty feet away, and the sound was almost hypnotic. The moon illuminated the ocean, casting a wide streak of light across the sparkling, dark water. We both stared. We’d just gotten here, and I already wanted this night to never end.
With that thought, I took a deep breath.
“Val, I….” Ford spoke at the same exact moment, I said, “Ford, I…”
We both laughed.
“You first,” he said.
“No, go ahead. Really,” I stalled. “I was only going to comment about how we should’ve done this earlier in the summer. Come down to the beach, I mean.”
Ford nodded. He picked up a twig—a small one, a few inches long—and broke it in half, tossing part of it. Then he broke the small piece a second time and did the same.
“Is everything okay?” I turned from the water to face him, tilting my head.
“Yeah. I’m just tired from my trip.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He shifted to face me and spent the longest time just studying my face. Finally, he brushed a piece of hair from my shoulder and began to speak. “This summer has been incredible. When we first met, you were looking to find yourself. But something happened over the last few months. You stopped trying to find the person you were, and let yourself be who you are now.” He swallowed. “I’ll never forget this summer.”
That sounded an awful lot like goodbye. A lump in my throat made it difficult to speak. “I feel different than I did when I came out here. I’m not mad at my ex-husband anymore. I’m not as worried about what people I don’t even know think.” I smiled. “Though I don’t think I’ll be shopping for anal beads by myself again in the near future.”
He smirked. “That’s a shame.”
“But seriously. You’re right. I feel like I’ve started to find who I am. And a lot of that is because of you. You made me stop looking back, stop clinging to my fears, and just be. It has been a really long time since I just lived in the moment.”
I took a deep breath and looked down, gathering the strength to say what I’d been thinking about for a while. “I know I said this couldn’t be more than a summer fling. But it was. It is. And…I don’t want it to end, Ford.”
Our eyes locked, and I saw so much turmoil swimming in his. He broke our gaze to look out over the ocean for a long time, and when he looked back at me, a pool of tears had built in his eyes.
Oh my God. Those don’t look like tears of happiness.
He took my hand and squeezed it. “You were the one who was right. I was wrong. You need to go live a little and experience things. I’m happy we had this summer—but that’s all it could ever be.”
It felt like an elephant sat on my chest. My heart snapped in half like that twig he’d so easily broken a few moments ago. Even though I’d known this was a distinct possibility, I wasn’t ready for how much it hurt.
I’d opened myself up for this, and it made it that much more painful to be rejected. I don’t know how I held in the sobbing, but I definitely couldn’t speak. So I simply nodded.
Ford took that to mean I agreed and pulled me to him for a hug. Silent tears ran down my cheeks as I clung to him. We rocked back and forth and held on tight. The way he held me so close, if he hadn’t just said what he’d said, I might’ve thought that he was holding on because he didn’t want it to end, either.
After the longest time, I discreetly wiped away my tears and pulled my head back to look at him. I was glad we were in moonlight and not daylight so he couldn’t see the color of my face—I knew it had to be red and blotchy.
“Make love to me, Ford.”
I wanted to get lost in him at least one more time. He looked into my eyes, as if making sure that was what I really wanted. And in that moment, it hit me hard. God, I’d fallen in love with him.