Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 85274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Sienna pouts but doesn’t argue. “You want me to go with you? I can.”
“Nope, I’m good. But if I find something I like, I promise to get your approval first.”
I give her a kiss on the cheek and then smile awkwardly at Micah, hating that it will probably never be the same between us since I had sex with his brother and ended up pregnant.
Without giving Lincoln a second glance, I head out. Only instead of him staying with Micah, he follows me out and down the hall back to his place.
“You know you can stay here, right?” he says once we’re inside. “We’re having a baby together...”
“And we can co-parent from different homes,” I finish. “I appreciate you letting me stay here while the girls were sick and you arranging to work from home to watch over me, but my blood pressure is improving. It’s going to take some time to find a place, so hopefully the doctor will give me the all-clear by then so I can move into my new place and get settled before the baby comes.”
Lincoln nods, but his pinched brows and pursed lips tell me he doesn’t agree with what I’m saying, so I break it down for him in a way he’ll understand.
“Linc, living together long term would never work. One day you’re going to want to date, or I will, and then what? We bring them here? Put a scrunchie on the doorknob to alert the other person that we’re having sex? I spent years living in fear of being sexually intimate with a man, and now that I’ve experienced how good it can feel, I want that.”
“While you’re pregnant?” Lincoln clips, making me roll my eyes.
“Obviously not while I’m pregnant. But after I give birth, I don’t see any reason why I can’t be a mom and still continue to date. I have no intention of bringing any man around my son until I know he’s good enough to be in his life, but I’m young and...” I swallow anxiously. “I want what Micah and Sienna have. I want to fall in love. I want to meet a man who will sweep me off my feet and love me the way I deserve to be loved. And I don’t see that happening if I stay here.”
Lincoln sighs. “You’ve always been a romantic.”
“When you grow up in a world like mine, all you have is the hope of something better. It’s why I clung to you when I was younger. You were the good in a world filled with so much bad. But I took advantage of your good, and for that I’ll always be sorry.”
“I already told you—”
“I know, I know.” I laugh lightly. “You forgive me. But it’s more than that. I never wanted to be anything like my mom, but here I am, pregnant from a one-night stand.”
I rub my belly, hoping my baby will feel the love I already feel for him. “I have the money she didn’t have, and thanks to you being so good about this, we’ll give him two loving parents. But one day, I’d like to meet someone. I want the house filled with love and happiness. I want the shit you see in movies, like the perfect Christmases and family dinners. Sienna never imagined having it, but there she is, living her best life, and I want that too. But I can’t have it with you. So, I’d rather move out now and start working on creating the life I want for myself and my baby.”
“Our baby,” he interjects.
“Our baby,” I agree. “A baby we’ll be raising together for at least the next eighteen years.”
Lincoln nods in agreement.
“So, I was thinking...” I swallow thickly, hating the thought that’s crossed my mind while I was pouring my soul out to him, but if we have any chance of getting through this parenting thing together, it’s something that should probably happen. “I think we should agree to be friends.”
“We’ve always been friends,” Lincoln says, confusion etched across his features.
“Eh.” I tilt my head to the side and shrug my shoulder. “I think it was more of an ‘I worshipped the ground you walked on, and you dealt with my teenage one-sided infatuation’ sort of relationship, but I wouldn’t call it a friendship.”
Lincoln chuckles and shakes his head. “Trust me when I tell you that the infatuation was very much returned in recent events.”
“But only because you didn’t know it was me,” I say, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. “So, friends?”
Lincoln doesn’t look sold on the idea, and a part of me wants to ask if it’s because the infatuation is still there and he craves more, or if being my friend is something he isn’t interested in. But really the answer won’t matter because regardless, Lincoln doesn’t see a future with me, and we both deserve to find the person we want to spend our lives with.”