Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
And then I walked out of the house, my head held high, prouder than I’d ever been in who I was.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Sutton
I was making myself crazy, going over and over what happened last night. We’d gone from the best day to a bar fight, and then me walking out on Jasper. That was a big part of what had my mind running. I stood by what I said. I didn’t know how this would ever stop plaguing us if Jasper didn’t get a hold on it, if he spent his days feeling like there was something wrong with him because of us. Eventually he’d resent me for it. But I didn’t know if I should have walked out on him; I just hadn’t known what to say or do. All this was so new for me as well, and I was just trying to find my way in it all. I wanted us to be able to love each other and be happy. Was that too much to hope for?
“How you feelin’?” Uncle Brian asked, coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee.
“Like I fucked up and left Jasp when he needed me the most.”
“Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. You ain’t perfect, Sutton. You can’t always do the right thing or have all the answers.”
No, I couldn’t, but I sure as shit could try. “I just… I saw it, saw the look on his face when Clyde said what he did. He’s ashamed of the things we do together, of what he thinks it means for him. And I don’t know what that means for us. I just know I can’t lose him. I’m not sure how to live without him.” I rubbed a hand over my face, let my fingers tangle in my hair as I leaned back against the couch.
“You won’t lose him. He loves you too. That has to count for somethin’.”
Unlike my mom? She hadn’t loved Uncle Brian, not the way he had loved her. Christ, I still didn’t know how to sort through that either.
“I gotta go home. I need to talk to him,” I said, just as we heard a knock.
Our gazes darted to the door. My heart immediately started slamming against my chest. Uncle Brian didn’t have a whole lotta visitors other than me, and considering last night, there was a good chance that was Jasper.
What if I’d done the wrong thing? Given him time to think and he decided that being with me, dealing with this, wasn’t what he wanted? What if I’d pushed him away?
Uncle Brian set his mug down. “I’ll get it.” I watched him go to the door and open it. “Mornin’, Ms. Finch. Ain’t this a surprise?”
One second I was still sitting on the couch, the next I was on my feet halfway to the door. Jasper’s mama was there? I couldn’t think of any good reasons why she would be.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen to Jasp?” I asked, heart in my throat, my breath coming out too fast.
“No. Nothin’ like that. I just… I wondered if I could have a word with you?”
“If you’re gonna ask me to walk away from him, I’m tellin’ you now that ain’t a possibility.”
Sadness washed over her features, but not the kind I expected. Sherry shifted, clearly uncomfortable, before she replied, “That’s not what I’m here for, Sutton.”
Uncle Brian said, “I’ll go for a walk, give the two of you some time.” He turned and squeezed my arm in support before slipping out of the house. I was so damn lucky to have him. When I was younger, I saw it just because he was the only person I had, the only family, but now I saw it in a different way. He was the best kind of man.
I stepped aside and invited Sherry in. She wrung her hands together as she came inside, and I closed the door behind her. “Can I get’cha something to drink?”
“No, thank you. I’m okay. I… Jasper came by the house this mornin’. He’s real torn up, said he hurt you, said a lot of things. He has a bruise on his face and—”
“Not from me. We don’t fight like that. Is he okay?”
“Yes and no.” She sat down in a chair. “He’s scared of losin’ you, and he’s hurtin’ real bad over whatever happened between y’all. But he also… I don’t wanna say too much. The two of you need to talk, but he put his daddy and me in our places this morning, made me see some things in a whole new light. I’d seen some already after Carrie found out about y’all. She’s been talkin’ to me, but admitting I’m wrong, that ain’t easy for me.”
“No, ma’am, I know it’s not,” I answered, feeling pride build up in my chest. Not for me; for Jasper. I didn’t know what happened, but he’d clearly had some things to say.