Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
“Oh.” I was kinda surprised she hadn’t told him sooner. She’d been twenty-one when she had me, and she and my dad not even married yet. They’d been so damn young when they’d died.
“Anyway, the Phil he was before your mama, I’d question him, but not the one he became after her, so yeah, he would’ve been okay with it. He just wanted you happy.”
My eyes were blurry, my pulse pounding in my ears. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that—that they wouldn’t have cared, that nothing would have changed.
That they would have loved me.
What kind of broken world was this, where that was even a question?
“Earlier,” Uncle Brian went on, “you said you feel guilty about Jasper movin’ out. It’s okay to feel that way, but don’t let it change nothin’. He chose you. He loves you. That ain’t the ending everyone gets. That other person don’t always love us back.”
My gaze traveled to a photograph on the bookshelf. It had been there as long as I could remember. The frame was old, the photo faded. It was of Uncle Brian and my mom. They were nineteen or so in it. I knew it was before my parents got together. Uncle Brian had his arm around her. She was laughing at something, pure joy on her face. She’d been good at that—being happy. Uncle Brian’s attention was all on her, like she mesmerized him. Like he could meet every person in the whole world and none of them would be to him what she was.
It was the way I looked at Jasper.
He’d been in love with her, and I’d never seen it. Jesus Christ, he’d been in love with her, and she’d ended up marrying his brother, and then they’d died, and he’d spent his life raising their son. “Uncle Brian—”
“It’s gettin’ late. You should probably head on out. Bring Jasper with you next time, okay?”
He stood, and I did the same. I wanted to ask him about it. Hell, I had a hundred questions I wanted to ask: Had they ever been together? Had she known? Had Dad known? But I couldn’t hurt him that way. He’d made it clear the conversation was over.
“I will,” I finally replied. “And thank you…for everything.”
“That’s what family is for. I gotta take care of somethin’. You can see your way out.”
Uncle Brian disappeared down the hallway. Without any other choice, I packed up my guitar and left.
Jasper pulled down the driveway right after me. I leaned against my truck, arms crossed, watching him with a smile on my lips as he parked beside me, got out, and walked over.
“What’s that look for?” he asked.
“Nothing. I’m just way happy to see ya.” But then that immediately made me think about Uncle Brian, how he said Jasper and I loving each other wasn’t the ending everyone got, that they didn’t always love you back.
“Hey, now. What’s wrong?”
I was surprised when Jasper grabbed onto my hips, stepping closer to me. Sure, we were at home and no one was around, but his parents could look out and possibly see us. He didn’t typically do this outside the house.
“Nothin’. I mean, I really am happy to see you. Uncle Brian said something that makes me believe…” I rubbed a hand over my face. “Hell, I think he was in love with my mama.”
Jasper’s eyes widened. “Why?”
I related some of the things Uncle Brian had said to me over the past months, the history of how he and Mama were the best of friends before she ended up with my dad, and then told him about the photo he’d kept up all these years.
“Damn. That’s big. Are you okay?”
I nodded. “I am. Feel bad for him, is all. And I got questions, of course. But mostly it’s just sad…and yet feelin’ sad is complicated because it was my dad and there ain’t no me without him and Mama. They were crazy about each other.”
“I’m sorry.” Jasper pressed a quick kiss to my lips, then let our foreheads do the same, not moving.
“You’re bein’ very affectionate in public.”
“We ain’t in public.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m tired, Sutt.”
“Me too.” I took his mouth tenderly, and we let our tongues slowly move together, taste and give. When we parted, Jasper kept his forehead against mine, and I said, “I think part of why it gets to me so much is because if you hadn’t felt the same, I would’ve been him. I would’ve been alone, watchin’ you fall in love, get married, have kids… Just spendin’ my life quietly lovin’ you.”
“Jesus. You ain’t never gonna be without me again. You won’t ever have to know what that feels like.”
“I know.” I smiled.
At the sound of rocks crackling under tires, we both turned to see Carrie’s car pull up in front of Jasper’s folks’ house.