Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
The door to the waiting room opened then, and Molly came in with… What the fuck? Was that Emerson Fox? Why in the hell was Molly with him, and why had she brought him here?
I watched him as his gaze went straight to Sammy, held on, his eyes filled with emotion that snapped and crackled in the air.
Movement came from the other side of Jasper, Sammy on his feet, making quick steps toward Molly and Emerson, the loner guy people told rumors about. I expected Sammy to go to her, to pull his girlfriend into his arms, but…
“What the fuck?” Jasper asked softly when it was Emerson that Sammy hugged, Emerson who held him and shushed him, and…my heart punched my chest, my vision a little blurry, white noise filling my ears.
Molly watched on, nothing but support in her gaze. She had a small smile on her lips like she was proud of Sammy or something.
The way they touched each other was so…emotional, so real, like in that moment, they needed each other. They spoke in whispers, continued with the gentle touches. I couldn’t hear but didn’t need to. This man, he meant something to Sammy. They were in love, and Molly knew and approved. It was clear as day, and I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, knew what it meant but couldn’t even form the thought in my head.
“What in the fresh hell is goin’ on here? You’re that limp-wristed Northerner who killed his boyfriend,” Bob spat, his disgust evident.
Sherry moved beside him, and when Jasper stood, I followed. How could I not? It was Jasper, but this was… Sammy Joe was gay? I didn’t understand.
“Uncle Bob.” Sammy’s voice held a warning.
“What are you doin’ with my nephew? You takin’ advantage of him? That man from the city wasn’t enough and you’re movin’ on to Sammy Joe next? Over my dead body.” Bob puffed out his chest.
“That’s enough! Don’t talk to him like that.” Sammy’s voice was even firmer than it had been before.
I stood beside Jasper, who was by his parents, my world spinning, nothing what I thought it was. Somehow, even though the scene was right in front of me, it didn’t compute, the picture and voices distorted.
“Can’t he stick up for himself?” Bob growled. “Man enough to kill someone and take advantage of you, but not man enough to talk to me like one?”
“I can,” Emerson said. “I’m just trying to be respectful of Sam. His mom is hurt, and I don’t see how the two of us arguing will help the situation. You don’t have to like me or trust me. I don’t give a shit what you think about me. I only care about Sam and what’s best for him.”
And then…then my knees nearly went out from under me when Sammy reached over and held on to Emerson’s hand, tangled their fingers together the way I’d just been wondering what it would feel like if Jasper and I did it.
“Sammy?” Sherry looked shocked.
“You’re a queer?” Jasper asked, and I flinched at how he’d said that, at the accusation in his voice.
Would he say that to me if he knew some of those hidden thoughts in my head? Would I lose him?
Jasper added, “What about Molly?”
And Molly replied, “Nothing about Sammy has changed, and he’s never lied to me. He pretended to be my boyfriend because it was best for both of us.”
Both of them? Was she gay too? Was that how Sammy identified? How did they know? How did I know? I had a million questions I wanted to ask them.
Bob’s dislike was clear in his curse, but Sammy, standing taller, back straighter than I’d ever seen it, said, “I’m gay. Always have been, always will be. I love Emerson, and I don’t care whether you accept it or not. Right now, I’m just glad he’s here with me because I need him. I’m worried about Mama and I need him.”
Sammy found himself in Emerson’s arms again, holding on for dear life. They clutched each other like a lifeline, like if they let go, they would drift away, and it left me feeling emptier, more bereft than I’d ever felt in my whole life. The older man kissed the top of Sammy’s head, told him he loved him, that it would be okay, and…and I fucking wanted. Maybe needed. That. Right there.
With Jasper.
When Sherry and Bob walked away, Jasper did too, and like always, I was there with him, but my head wasn’t. It was with Sammy.
I couldn’t take my eyes off them, Sammy and his boyfriend. Right there in front of us. Open and honest and, fuck, for a second, I thought I hated him for it because that made this feeling inside me more real. Made it crawl out of the dirt, unable to stay buried any longer, fighting and pulsing to get to the forefront. If Sammy could have this with Emerson, why couldn’t I with Jasper?