Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 47241 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47241 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Suddenly, the anger drained from my body. Now I just felt…sad. “Why? Because of what I said on game night? You know I didn’t mean—”
“It’s easier that way.”
“Beau.” I walked up to him, taking his hand. “Probably easier, but so much lonelier.”
“Well, it didn’t work. I ended up coming right back here as soon as we hit the dock. I was going to stop by tomorrow, but I bumped into your friend Shawna, and she invited me to Friendsgiving. I thought, for one second, that maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. It’s why I gave the money away tonight instead of using it to fund my travels to a new place.”
“You gave it away so you’d stay? With me?”
He nodded. “Yes, but Meri, it was probably the rum talking and—”
I pushed myself up onto the tips of my toes and kissed him hard. He froze for a moment and then kissed me back.
He felt so right on my lips. I didn’t care that he had baggage but didn’t own much. He defied everything I’d ever thought comprised the perfect man. And that fact alone mesmerized me. I wanted to fight to keep him here. Yet, all of a sudden, I couldn’t stop thinking about something Kay had said: Give without expectations. Give from the heart.
It dawned on me that I was in the midst of doing the exact opposite. I wasn’t thinking about him at all. I was thinking about what I wanted: for him to stay.
I pulled away, experiencing a moment of clarity unlike any other. “I’ll make you a deal. If you feel like staying, then stay. For as long as you need or want. And if you get the itch to travel, then travel. And if you want somewhere to come back to, I’ll be here. Unless I move, which I might, but then you’d be welcome there, too. The point is, I’d love for you to stick around, but I don’t expect anything from you, Beau,” I said softly. “Except your honesty and friendship. I’d also like to know which soap and toothpaste you use because I could probably eat you. You smell that good.” I grinned.
“Friends? You want to just be friends?” He clearly didn’t believe me.
“I never said that was all I wanted, but in the last ten seconds, I realized that for us to be more, for me to be happy, you’d have to want to stick around, but you’re not there yet.” I shrugged. “Maybe you never will be. Either way, I know I’m a better person for meeting you, and I mean that with all my heart. So if we’re friends, and that’s all, then I’ll take it. But I’m not going to lie just to make you happy.”
I felt so proud of myself. I hadn’t chucked my needs out the window to make someone else happy, and at the same time, I gave an offer from the heart.
He rubbed his chin. “Friends don’t tongue-kiss friends like you do, Meri.”
I laughed. “Or like you.” I fanned my face. “But I’d be heartbroken if this thing between us went any further and you just upped and disappeared.”
He nodded. “I do not want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t. Friends?” I held out my hand, aching inside. I wanted him. Badly. Just thinking about him being naked on top of me, harder than a jackhammer, made my knees squishy.
He took my hand and gave it a firm shake.
Was this sucking for him, too? If it did, he wasn’t letting on. Or maybe this was better for him. No pressure. No strings. I could be a friend to lean on, which he probably needed. Tonight he’d come to the realization that after eight long years, his dad was never going to forgive him. I’d like to meet his dad and give him a kick in the maracas.
“I have just one more request,” I said.
“What?”
“Will you please stay the night? On the couch? It’s late. You’re on the other side of drunk, and I’m exhausted. If you go, I’ll just sit here worrying about where you’re staying, feeling like I didn’t try hard enough to convince you that I really meant what I said. I’m here for you. And I think you are better than you know—just the type of guy a girl like me would do anything for, including depriving herself of a hard, steamy bang.” I blinked. “I don’t know why I said that. Sorry.”
“I forgot all my things in Shawna’s car, but I’ll stay. If it makes you feel better.”
“I can text her and ask if she can drop your stuff off tomorrow.” I clapped. “I’m just going to go and see if I still have some of Mike’s things in the closet.”
“Mike?”
“My ex. He left me due to irreconcilable differences.”
“What type?” he asked.