Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 97525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Chapter 75
"When will the doctor be here?" Brant pulls on a T-shirt, then reaches for a pair of jeans when I'd rather him be in pajamas, in bed, behaving as my patient.
“Soon.” I looked around for my watch, but I’d forgotten to put it on.
He opens his sock drawer and reaches inside the segmented space, moving aside a pair of silk socks. Tucked behind them was a small black bottle, one he tossed to me. "Ask her what these are, and what they do."
I examine the bottle, twisting open the lid to see it stocked with white tablets. “Label says it’s Aciphex. I thought this was for stomach acid. You think it’s something else?”
“It’s not Aciphex." He gives me a sheepish look. "Jillian gives them to me each month, says they’re to control my blackouts. Given her recent behavior, I’d like to double check.”
“Your—what?" I hold up a hand. "Wait. We have so much to discuss. The majority of it concerning Jillian. Let’s compare notes, before the doctor gets here.”
He winces. “I’ll tell you as much as I know."
I pocket the bottle of pills. “Come on. Let's sit on the deck and talk."
"When I was eleven, everything in my life started to change. It came with the onset of puberty, hormones affecting more than just my temperament and body. It was as if my brain turned on full force, in a hundred ways at once. I could do dozens of calculations in a minute, but I also was bombarded with colors, images, thoughts ... more than I could handle at one time. I'd want to do three things at once. Or I’d have two different opinions on the same subject, at the same time. For instance, on the topic of God. I'd argue with myself, present both sides of an argument, understand the nuances and opinions of either side and feel strongly on both points." He collected his thoughts, then continued.
"Everything became, in a series of months, maddening. My brain worked in overtime, and I was exhausted over it. That was when the blackouts started. My brain would go sixty miles an hour then ... nothing. There would be hours of time where I would blackout and do things I had no recollection of."
We were on the corner balcony off the bedroom, looking over the shimmering ocean, and the sunny view didn't compute with the dread in his voice. I stayed quiet and waited for him to continue.
"Then, on December twelfth, I woke up from a blackout in a children's ward. Jillian was in the hospital and that was when the doctors and medical tests started. I don't remember a lot of that time, but when I got out, Jillian moved into our house. I never went back to school, didn't see my friends anymore. Everything had changed, everything was focused on keeping me home, on keeping my brain busy. Jillian was the one who directed that attention on computers. We discovered I did better if I had a problem and focused on it. Complex math problems, or unraveling code to debug a virus—anything that involved complex thought quieted the madness. This was in the early days, back when computers were input output computation tools. Data processors. That was about it. I learned to build a computer in fifteen minutes. Then I began the focus of improving the machine, its performance, then—once that was solved—its capabilities." He took a sip of ice water and then placed the glass down and glanced at me.
"But the blackouts continued. My parents were worried. Worried I would have another occurrence of whatever had happened in December. So I was put on a sedative, something to keep me calm. It stopped the blackouts, but I couldn't think on it. It dulled everything, including my ability to process intelligent thought—at least not on the same level as before. I grew increasingly quiet, lost interest in computers, in everything. So..." He shifts, pressing his palms together and staring out onto the water. "Jillian and I made a deal."
I sit up a little in my chair. "A deal?"
"I stopped taking the medication, and she covered for any blackouts I had. At that point in time, close to the completion of Sheila, I was in the basement 90% of the time, with her for the majority of that. I was only seeing my parents at meals and before bed. Any blackouts I had, Jillian concealed. In exchange, I focused on getting Sheila finished and ready for our meetings with investors."
"You were, what? Twelve at this point?"
"Eleven."
"Not old enough to make that deal."
"I wasn't a typical eleven-year-old. I was intelligent enough to make a quantified calculation of risk versus reward. And since Jillian was the one most at risk, and since she was the one spending time with me, I made the decision."