Total pages in book: 22
Estimated words: 20435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 102(@200wpm)___ 82(@250wpm)___ 68(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 20435 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 102(@200wpm)___ 82(@250wpm)___ 68(@300wpm)
“You’re looking at me funny,” I tell him as the strawberry jam flavor explodes on my tongue. Weird, I thought I was out of my favorite jam. Something about last night tickles at my memory. Did I do something embarrassing like try to dance? Or attempt to belt out my favorite girl power song?
“Just want to make sure you’re OK.” His tone is too casual.
“OK, I give. What did I do?” I check my skin for new tattoos but there aren’t any. Not that I should even look. Ledger would keep me from doing something permanent when I was that wasted. His tendency to be my bodyguard might annoy the shit out of me but it’s also comforting. He always has my back no matter what.
He gives me an impish grin. “It’ll come back to you later.”
I finish my food, pausing to sneak bites to Honey. When I’m done, Ledger passes me a handful of pills for my headache, and I take them with a glass of water.
“Guess I should shower,” I tell him as I push to my feet. Something is still niggling at the back of my mind. What did I forget? I think we talked. It must have been important.
“Sure thing.” He gathers my dishes and leaves the room, whistling.
I glance at Honey. “The man knows something he’s not telling us.”
She makes a small yip of agreement and follows me into the bathroom. She waits patiently on the floor while I take a cold shower to ease the pounding in my head. After, I dress in a t-shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans. Just as I’m wiping steam off the bathroom mirror, the pieces fall into place.
A baby. I told Ledger I wanted a baby for Christmas.
Shit, shit, shit. He knows now. Of course, he has to know. A girl just doesn’t ask her best friend for a baby, and he not know she’s caught feelings. Is this going to totally destroy our friendship? Panic claws at me at the thought. I can’t lose him. I can’t lose Ledger.
No, I have to play this off. I have to go to him and pretend I didn’t mean it. That I don’t want babies. And especially not his babies.
“Forget the solo vacation. We have to move away forever,” I tell Honey. I feel sick to my stomach. Why did I get drunk around Ledger? I mean, he’s the guy I’ve always gotten drunk with because he’s a straight arrow. He’ll look after me no matter what. It’s why I feel so safe around him.
But this? Baring my heart to the most important man in my life, why did I have to do that? I’m not the type that opens up even if I am wasted.
Honey whines, letting me know that we’ve spent too long in here. It’s time to face the music and hope that Ledger and I can laugh this one off. Please let us laugh it off.
Ledger is at my kitchen table, flicking at something on his phone while a cup of coffee is in front of him. He got me one of those fancy coffee machines a few months ago. He insisted it was because he crashes here sometimes, and he deserves good coffee. But I know he did it for me because I love those little cups of gourmet coffee that come in all the different flavors.
He looks up from his phone when he hears me come into the room. “Are you feeling better?”
I blow out a breath. “No, feeling weird about what I said.”
I could gather my backpack and Honey right now. Just walk out the door and pretend we weren’t having this conversation. But the thing about always running away is I wish someone would miss me enough to come after me. No one ever does.
“Which part?” His expression is guarded, and it hurts. I’m the one person that he normally lets inside. He lets me see everything. He never hides anything from me, and I like it that way. I like knowing he gives me access to every piece of his heart.
“The part where I maybe mentioned babies.”
“The part where you said we should make a baby together? Did you mean that?” He prompts.
I try to force a smile and hope that he can’t tell how fake it is. I can’t lie to him about what I want. He’ll hear it in my tone. “I was really drunk last night.”
“It’s when people are the most honest.” He got drunk when we were teenagers and told me that his stepmom was in prison. He kept writing her letters and she’d never answer him. He looked so broken that night.
I never figured out why she was in prison, and I never mentioned it again. Just put his head on my shoulder and told him I was there. Sometimes when everyone else lets you down, all you have left is your best friend.