Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
I’m the youngest Swift brother. The one who’s always in trouble and can’t get his life together. I wouldn’t know where to start, and ever since my twin died, I can’t bring myself to care. After my last “situation,” Dad washed his hands of me. And though my brothers should’ve done the same, they stood up for me, fracturing their relationship with him too. He’s a terrible father to all of us, but considering we’re just figuring out how to build a relationship, I don’t want them to lose him because of me.
Officer Archer Thorn won’t stop coming around either. After every screwup, every bad day, Archer’s there to offer a hand. Before I know it, we’re going to dog parks, sharing meals, and Archer seems at home hanging at my place. When he touches me, fills me, all the noise in my head goes quiet. He makes me want more, but he doesn’t know how much that terrifies me, how much I worry that getting better means breaking a promise I made years ago.
Each moment with Archer shows me how good a man he is. For the first time, I actually want to face my trauma and get over my past. Archer makes me see there’s beauty in the world and, more importantly, he makes me want some of it for myself…that is, if I don’t ruin Archer Thorn first.
* Easton is a small-town, hurt/comfort romance full of heart, heat, a touch-starved MC, and brothers learning how to have a relationship with each other. It deals with themes of grief, death of a parent and a sibling, and mental-health struggles.
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
PROLOGUE
Easton
Ten years ago
Dad’s gonna be pissed, Ella says in my thoughts.
I pace the woods behind our house. It’s one of the places I go when I want to get away.
She’s right, I know she’s right, but I’m so tired of caring. It used to matter what Dad thought, both before and after Ella died, but I’m done with that now. It doesn’t matter what I do or don’t, he’ll never be happy with me. I’ll never be the kind of son he wants.
He’ll never love me.
He never has, and he sure as shit won’t start now.
“Fuck him. I hate him,” I reply out loud.
I walk over to a log and sit down. My leg’s bouncing up and down. My heart’s slamming against my chest.
In my mind, my dead twin sits beside me. She looks how I imagine she would if she’d made it to seventeen like me—blond hair, blue eyes, just like our mother. That’s what everyone always says about us; well, about me now.
Ella looks at my hands, which are bruised from the fight I got into. I got suspended, but by this point, I should be expelled. The only reason I’m not is Dad. He intervenes on my behalf, but he doesn’t do it for me. When he gets me out of trouble, it’s for himself, because of his reputation, because he cares so much about what others think.
This time, though, it wasn’t Dad who came to the school. It was my oldest brother, Rhett. He just got home from law school—he’s following in Dad’s footsteps. I can’t help wondering when he’ll start hating me just like Dad does.
You need to stop fighting, East, Ella tells me. I’m worried about you.
“I’m fine.” But I know I’m not. I don’t know how to be fine…or if I care enough to try. I don’t sleep well. Have nightmares. I’m a mess. “I just miss you…can’t figure out how to make it stop.”
She gives me a sad smile, her eyes the same shade of blue as mine. It’s like looking in a mirror.
“East? Who are you talking to?” Rhett asks, and my pretend-Ella disappears.
The thing is, I know she wasn’t there. She hasn’t been there since we were nine years old and I killed her. Since we were playing hide-and-seek, and I gave her the idea to hide in the boat…the boat that turned over…that trapped her beneath it…where she drowned. But my head and heart are really good at making me think she is with me sometimes. I want it so much. I can’t let go of her, can’t live without her, so I do whatever I have to do to make sure we’ll always be together, even if that means creating her in my head.
“Go away,” I snap at Rhett, wanting him gone, needing him gone so I can talk to Ella again. If I do it in my head, I’ll just space out, and he’ll know something’s wrong.
“Easton, who were you talking to?” Rhett asks again, coming closer, looming over me and making me feel small. I’m not a little guy, but he’s broader than me, taller. He and Morgan—our middle brother—both have dark hair and look more like our dad.
“Nobody! Myself. Jesus Christ. Leave me alone.” I shove to my feet. “Did you come out here to tell me how big of a fuckup I am? Because I already know. I don’t need you to tell me. I don’t need you to be Dad’s fucking errand boy. Stop trying to fix me.”
I try to walk away, but Rhett grabs ahold of my wrist. “I’m not here for Dad. I was worried about you. In fact, I was thinking we don’t even have to tell Dad about this. I took care of it, so the school won’t call him.”
My heart stumbles over his words, hope trying to push its way to the surface, before I realize that Rhett isn’t doing this for me either. It’s not because he cares about me. He just doesn’t want to upset Dad. Everything is about him.
“Fuck you, Rhett.” I jerk my arm away.
“Hey. Chill out. Why are you so pissed at me? I’m trying to help you.”
I don’t answer, walk away, wishing Ella were here for me to talk to. She always loved me. She is my person. My heart.
“I’m worried about you, East. I know I’ve been gone for a while, with college and law school, but I’m back for good now. I want to fix things with us, to help you.”
My body tenses. They all think there’s something wrong with me, and there probably is. I know there is. I killed my sister, and I’ll never be able to get past that, and all I can think is if they fix me, she’ll go away. “Where’s Morgan?” I snap. If Rhett’s out here with me, Morgan must not be around.